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Wednesday, January 19, 2000...A Passions Update

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by chrissy n
1.19.2000

With Ethan looking on, Gwen demanded that Theresa produce her boyfriend or own up to being in love with Ethan. "Gwen this isn't the place for this," Ethan said. "Can't we go somewhere and discuss this calmly." But Gwen would not budge. She wanted answers and she wanted them immediately.

Off in another corner of the church, stood Pilar and Whitney watching "poor Theresa."

"Well, Theresa," Gwen said, looking arrogant.
Theresa realized she had been beaten, and as she parted her lips to speak, to spill the garbonzoes, Father Lonnigan appeared. "Theresa," he called. "Your boyfriend just telephoned, saying he had car trouble, which is why he couldn't make the funeral."

Gwen's expression went from "Haha. I got you" to looking as if someone had caught her red-handed stealing their morning edition of the Harmony Herald.

Ethan was quite pleased to hear that Theresa had a boyfriend, and on Gwen's behalf, apologized to Theresa.

Outside of the church, Gwen said, "I still don't believe there is a boyfriend."

Ethan sighed and rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Gwen, surely, you don't believe that Father Lonigan is lying?"

Well of course, Gwen did not think a man of the cloth would fib. "I don't know how Theresa pulled it off, but I know there is no boyfriend."

Whitney had sidled off to a phone, dialed an outside line, called the church and in an affected masculine voice, pretended to be Theresa's boyfriend.

Father Lonigan overheard the girls giggling about the prank, and said, "I want you to to come to confession."

Padre needs to have Theresa confess, everyday!

Telephonically, Alistar lambasted Julian because Luis had proven that Martin was an imposter. "You underestimated Office Lopez-Fitzgerald," Alistar said. Al told Julian to make certain that Sheridan ceases contact with Luis. "She's the weak link," Alistar said.

When Julian told Sheridan to avoid Luis, she told him to go to hell, and called him a pompous ass.

Later, a sheepish Luis, looking as earnest as a teen age boy asking a cute cheerleader to go the skate rink approached Sheridan, "Will you have dinner with me tonight?" he asked.

She seemed surprised. "Uh, yes," she stammered.

"Then, it's a date," he said.

She nodded and simpered.

Eve was in Orville's apartment, rummaging around searching for "the bird," an ugly knickknack that looked like Orville found it at the five-and-dime.

"You better find it," Orville said, adding that inside of the bird was the truth about Eve's sordid past.

Eve hunted and hunted, but came up empty-handed. "I have to find it," she said; her tone, desperate. "If I don't, it will destroy my family."

Unbeknownst to Eve, a blowzy, older woman with cotton candy hair was in possession of the bird.

Orville owed the woman rent money, and she had removed the bird from his apartment. "Maybe I can get a few bucks for this at the flea market," she said, disgustedly eyeing the unsightly object.

On less important story notes, Via the phone, Eve warned Simone to stay away from Chad, who unsuccessfully tried to pry information out of Orville, who played his senility act to avoid imparting any details.

"I can't find it," Eve said, looking around the apartment, which was in total disarray because of her. She had searched in drawers, under the sofa. Nothing. She couldn't let her secret surface.

She just couldn't.

Somewhere in the apartment was the bird, she figured. And inside of the bird was the truth about her past. She grabbed a can of lighter fluid, squirted some on a stack of old newspapers, got a box of matches, and ignited a fire.

And girlfriend's objective was not to roast marshmallows.

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