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A Love from the Past
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A Love from the Past
by hot4luis

Chapter Ten

"Sheridan!" Jordan said with what Sheridan sensed nervousness. "You shouldnít creep up on people like that. You startled me."

"What happened to that bodyguard instinct of yours?"

"Iím not your bodyguard right now. I donít have to be aware at all times. I am human after all." Jordan countered.

"You didnít sound very human when you were insulting me a few minutes ago." Sheridan shot back. She had fled to her room to escape the awful things Jordan had said. She had come out to find out what made her say those things.

"Look Sheridan, Iím sorry." Jordan said sighing heavily. "I didnít mean all that I said. I was trying to get you to admit something."

"Apology accepted. And I apologize for calling you a bitch." Sheridan said sitting down on the couch next to her. " You were trying to get me to admit my feelings for Luis, right?" when Jordan nodded she continued " I guess you better hear the whole story and then youíll understand why I act the way I do."

"Oh pray tell." Jordan said grinning from ear to ear. "ĎCause God only knows how desperate we are of knowing whatís going on in that head of yours." So Sheridan went on with what happened with Luis and her from the moment she crashed into his police cruiser. She got to the part where she went back to talk to Luis, that night on the wharf after he kissed her. She stopped and let all the information register in Jordanís mind. "So what went wrong? Sounds to me like he practically told you that he thought you were the one he could see his future with."

"Yes well what you think and what is true can be two totally different things." Sheridan said and then blurted, "Luis was only using me."

"What?" Jordan asked, her voice shrill. Sheridan went on to explain what she heard him say on the phone. "Oh my God! No, this isnít true. Luis Lopez Fitzgerald would never, ever use a woman for his own ends!"

"Jo, I wouldnít believe it if I were you. But I saw him and heard him. I was as shocked as you are now. Not to mention hurt beyond words." Sheridan said sadly, trying to stop the tears that threatened to surface. She had just told Luisís best friend that he had gotten the best of her. It was only a matter of time before Luis found out how badly he had hurt her. Jordan seemed to read her thoughts.

"Donít worry. I wonít tell Luis. Iím going to leave that up to you." Jordan said. "But Sheridan, youíre gonna have to tell him that you know."

"What? Didnít you hear what I just said?! Luis used me! I will not let him have the satisfaction to know that he hurt me that badly."

"But maybe it was a mistake. A misunderstanding."

"Oh come on! Get real Jo!" Sheridan yelled exasperated.

"Look, youíre not a 100% sure that it was what Luis meant. And you can be wrong. Remember you said so yourself what you think and what is real are two different things." Jordan said filling herself a glass of water.

"I donít think he said it - I know he said it!"

"Are you willing to cause yourself heartache, just because of the chance that you might be right? The operative words here, being chance and might." Jordan asked.

"I have been with a lot of men who have used me. I know how to handle them, thank you very much." Sheridan stated and turned away before she let herself get carried away in the notion that Jordan was probably right.

"Yes. But none of them hurt you as much as Luis did." Jordan said arching her eyebrow. "Look, I believe with all my heart Luis did not use you. I know the man well enough to have blind faith in him. And I know that deep down inside you believe Luis isnít capable of hurting you like he did -thatís why it hurt so much - because you donít have any evidence to prove it. Heís saved your life so many times without demanding a reward. Why?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Sheridan said irritated that Jordanís explanation hit so close to home. "He says it was his job."

"Yes, he says it was his job. But theyíre just words Sheridan. Words can be used to lie, to hurt someone and to deny feelings. And the only way you will know why he came to your rescue is if you ask him. Really ask him. Lay all the cards on the table and get this over once and for all. Iíve told Luis this and Iím telling you this now -listen to your heart, it never steers you wrong." Jordan explained placing a hand over Sheridanís. Sheridan looked down at their hands and then back up at Jordan.

"I donít think Iím strong enough for this." Sheridan said slowly.

"Are you kidding me? You are one of the strongest women I know. With everything that has happened to you, you have managed to turn into a beautiful, strong, independent woman and not some druggie living in a dumpster." Sheridan threw her head back and laughed. "You arenít defined by a man who loves you. Youíre defined by who you are on your own. This isnít a romance novel - itís real life. You will survive with or without a man. Love doesnít define you; it just makes you feel good about yourself and happy to be who you are. And remember, happiness is a privilege, not a right. So grab it whenever you can."

"You are so very wise." Sheridan teased.

"I try." Jordan said as Sheridan pulled her into a hug.

"Youíve given me a lot to think about."

"Sorry." Jordan apologized with a chuckle.

"Thank you. You really are a true friend."

"Anytime Sheridan, anytime."

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