Thereís this girl I really like, but I donít know how to ask her out but I think she likes me too but I want to
be the one to ask her out and this other guy is trying to talk to her. Heís only looking for one thing. I know
what he is after but Iím not like that. I want a nice relationship with her. What should I do?
Offer her one sincere compliment and see how she responds. If there's positive feedback, you can say something
like, "Would you like to get something to eat with me?" A little conversation over food will give you
both a chance to get to know each other. But, you cannot keep the other fellows away from her if she's interested.
Good luck, msX
I actually have two questions:
1. I am in the gifted program and I like it a lot but I seem to feel like I am not always doing my best but I can't
see why. Like the other day we were going over a science paper that was homework. I was very confident in my answers
but almost all of them were wrong. Do you think it's because I am distracted by other thoughts when I'm doing my
homework because that happens a lot.
2. I am in 6th grade I have a guy in mind that I want to go with to the dance. He is a friend, that I have known
since 4th grade. But he is in 7th grade. I am kind of chubby. Should I ask him or ask a 6th grader or wait for
someone to ask me. My mom says I shouldn't ask because they probably won't go because I am sort of overweight.
Dear Guys & School,
Around puberty alot of people get distracted from their schoolwork. The trick is to not lose your concentration
completely. Schoolwork will lead to a better future in the end, so while difficult, it would be foolish to toss
school aside and become boy-crazy. You are only in sixth grade and there are a lot of dating years in front of
you. So train yourself to focus on what is really important. I think your mother is being very mean by telling
you that you shouldn't be forward because you are chubby. You may be a little more at risk for rejection than someone
slender (as people are shallow, aren't they?), but don't let that stop you from being yourself. Go with your personality.
If you're outgoing, don't let your weight make you into a wallflower. There are guys out there who don't like skinny
Minnies, either. Anyone worth your while will see the total package you bring to a relationship, brains included.
Your mom is probably just trying to manipulate you into doing something about your weight, mostly because she doesn't
want to see you hurt. Losing weight might not be a bad thing, either, but that, too, should come from you. Whatever
you decide, good luck,
Hmm.. I kinda forgot to mention in my last post.. This guy that I like, I know for sure he doesn't have a girlfriend.
How do I know? Well, when we first met this girl from our class told me. He admitted to her he didn't have a girlfriend
(he wasn't interested in her, she had a boyfriend). So I definitely know he's not seeing anyone. How can I get
him to talk about what he wants from me. Friendship or romance? I really don't want to ask straight out because
I'm afraid he'll feel pressured or forced. I want to know where I stand with him so I know whether or not to affectionate
& loving with him. It's tough because I have a hard time talking about these kinds of things. Its frustrating
not knowing what to do. I really don't want to scare him away and screw things up between us. I don't want him
to suddenly decide to ditch me. I really like this guy a lot and it scares me just how strong my feelings for him
Like I said before we have this really great goofing around/teasing relationship.. that I wouldn't change for anything.
I feel like he completes me, and I totally trust him. I wouldn't change anything about him. It seems as if were
stuck.. wanting to move forward to the next stage ..but frozen where we are now. How can I get him to open his
heart to me? I'm trying really hard to steal his heart! He knows exactly how I feel about him, because I let him
know all the time. I hope he's not afraid to give his heart to me. Hmmm what should I do to draw his feeling out
without coming right out and asking him what he wants from me?
Dear Friendship or Love,
We don't always know right off whether the aroma from the over is bread or cake, do we? It seems like you and your
fellow are in a nice place now, don't rush things. Let things cook and you will know in time just what you have
There are four girls that want to go to prom with me. They are all my friends and they all hate that the other
wants to go with me as much as they do. Now Iím not a conceited guy and I know which one I want to go with, its
just that I donít want to lose any friendships over it because it is actually to the point where they are mad at
me for not picking anyone yet and Iím just thinking of not going at all. What should I do?
Dear Who Do I Pick?
The prom is in June, isn't it? I would wait until at least January or later until I asked anyone. Things have a
way of changing over time and you wouldn't want to be stuck going to the prom with the wrong girl, would you? If
you don't know by then, write back.
Okay, my boyfriend of 11 months is getting way too possessive. He hates when I go out with my friend, Daron. Josh
hates Daron for no reason. I give all my free time to Josh, but it still isnít enough for him. I canít take it.
Daron told me to just break up with him because he is hurting me, but I love him and would do anything in the world
for him. I love Josh but I donít want to be bossed around and told what to do. Help me!
A secure man does not panic when his girlfriend has a male friend. If you reassure Josh and he still insists that
you not see Daron, then you'll have to choose. Me? I'd choose friendship over romance if the romance was with someone
who wanted to limit my friendships. You are a human being, not a possession. I don't find it flattering that he
wants to devour all your time...it shows that he's not trusting and sensitive. Take off your blinders, girl!
Iím friends with one of my ex-boyfriends, and my current boyfriend doesnít like it. I still have feelings for him,
and I know he has them for me, but I love the boyfriend I have now. What do I do?
Tricky situation. If you were just friends with your old boyfriend and didn't have these feelings, then I'd tell
the current one that he could not choose my friends, like it or not. But, since you have feelings for the old boyfriend,
do you really think it is fair that you tie yourself down to your present boyfriend? I think if the situation were
reversed, you wouldn't like it one bit. Think about it. You can't always get what you want, hon.
I was going out with this guy for a year and three months and we just recently broke up and I donít know what to
do. he is in jail right now an he is 24 and I'm 16 and I love him with all my heart I would do anything for him.
Well he said that we need time to think about what we want. He said that I was immature and to write him when I've
matured some. But then I got a letter from him saying where he was going and he said to write him or to wait till
he writes me. What should I do? Im lost. I love him and I want to be with him should I write him back he knows
how I feel about him but he said I just don't show him I love him. He said I should at least write him about 3
times a week. But he has to understand how old I am. HELP! I still love him and want to be with him and I know
he feels the same.
Dear Boyfriend's in Jail,
Let's hope he stays in jail until you can come to your senses! Not only is he too old for you, he sounds dangerous.
People don't usually wind up in jail by mistake. He probably could get more time if the authorities knew he was
having a relationship with a minor. You have no idea of what a bad move life with a felon can be. Jail is boring.
He probably asked you to write because he's bored out of his gourd. Reading and writing letters is his limited
entertainment. Having someone write love letters to him while he's imprisoned helps to feed the dreams that he
may need to survive in jail. But, they are dreams, only to break the monotony, not to plan a future together. Is
a convicted felon who you want to be father to your children? Take this as an opportunity to get rid of this loser.
Write him to tell him he was right...that you are too immature for him. Get out quickly while you can.
Hi, this is the 3rd time I sent to you my problem. I hope u will answer this one. I have a problem that started
3 months ago and I still don't know what to do and the problem is getting bigger and bigger. Well, it started with
a boy in my class called J. There was a rumors that he liked me. I liked him too but I decided to wait until Iím
ready to make a move. and then, the whole class started to tease me and him. We didn't get angry and we tried acting
normally even we were siting next to each other. 2 weeks later,3 of my classmates (B ,N, and F) told me that they
had a crush on J. They told me to break up with J b'coz they liked him. I told them that Iím not his girlfriend
so why I have to do that such thing. In the same time, the rumors spread up to other classes. and all the girls
who had crush on him started to act weird when they saw me. My best friends told me to do something about this
problem. They suggested to write a love letter and wrote other girl name on it and we choose F. We wrote the letter
to make other people stop talking about the rumors. But, since Iím the only girl whoís sitting next to J, the plan
had backfired me. All guys kept asking me about the letter. We have made a mistake in this plan, one of the girls
who joined to write the letter is N. I forgot about her, and know she uses this chance to make J hates me. I don't
mind if he hates me, but all I want is to make all of this thing clear that I never had a crush on J. now, he never
talk to me anymore. One of J's friend told me that he still likes me but he still angry 'bout the love letter.
I hope u can help me. I wanna know how to make friends with him back.
Iím sorry if this letter is so long. Please help me, msX
Dear Third Time,
You blew it! Listening to your friends, you became the entertainment for the entire school. And, you made your
friend J angry with you by broadcasting his name all over town. What did all this game-playing accomplish, child?
When one acts is a manipulative way, it almost always backfires. Real life is not like a soap opera where someone
tells a lie and gets what they want. Real people are (hopefully) not that stupid. I just don't get why you couldn't
be honest in the first place? Learn from this. Boys don't like girls who play games like this. You embarrassed
him. Everyone knows your business now, even though you thought you were keeping it all to yourself by being dishonest.
And, never listen to your friends unless you're completely certain they are your true friends. Give it up. There
is no need for J to know you never had a crush. Let this all hoopla die down and move on.
I just had period and I don't know how to tell my mom.
How should I tell her/ bring it up?
Dear First Period,
If you're shy about talking to your mom, get over it! She's been there and done that. And unless you're going to
be buying your own Kotex and smuggling it into the house in the dead of the night, she's going to find out. How
to broach the topic? Ask her some questions about feminine hygiene products, maybe ask her what she thinks you
should try. She should get the point. This is not anything to be ashamed of, hon, it's really a natural part of
being a woman.
Im 18 years old and I am very skinny. My boyfriends and others think I look cute but it's the thicker girls who
get all of the attention. I also don't think Iím cute. I have a big nose and acne blemishes on my face. give me
You can take a proactive approach by going to the gym or finding an exercise program that will shape your body.
Even thin girls can benefit from a little shaping and toning to add curves. There are nutritional supplements that
will help you to gain weight healthily -- look into it at a health food store or on the web. You can also see a
dermatologist. Sometimes acne is just hormones going berserk and you will outgrow it. But, I don't think you have
to suffer acne when there are medicines that you can take for it. I've personally seen kids skin clear up miraculously
after one or two visits to a skin doctor. Don't worry...everyone sees themself differently than others do. I'm
sure you're being too hard on yourself.
Take care, msX
There's this guy, in 3 of my classes who's been kind of flirting with me for the last few weeks. The problems are
that he flirts with a lot of people, and we're from different social groups. I don't know him very well, but so
far I think he's pretty nice. I'm kind of shy though, and don't know how to respond to this stuff sometimes. Should
I just flirt back a little, and get to know him as a friend? Or, how should I respond when he flirts with me and
with other girls??? Thanks.
Dear Should I Flirt Back,
You can call him on his flirting with the time-honored line of, "I bet you say that to all the girls"
~ said with a smile, of course. That is flirting back, but it's also making him aware that you know his reputation
as a player. Tease him back about his unbridled flirting and you might become fast friends or something more.
I went 2 camp for a week over the summer. I met this really cute guy, but he lives in New York, and I live in West
Virginia. We keep in touch every once in a while. We both like each other alot. I only want him, but can't help
to look at the other dudes. He really makes me happy, but what am I gonna do until December when I see him again?
Dear Boyfriend in Another City,
Summer romances are wonderful, aren't they? That's the nature of the beast -- we always want things that are hard
to get. By all means, keep in touch with him, but don't limit your life because of him. Maybe one day, the two
of you will get some time to see if your relationship can stand the test of the outside world, but now you have
local stuff to think about. December isn't that far away anyway...I see Christmas stuff in the stores already.
Hope it works out, msX
Hi! Ok, I have natural curly-wavy hair. I NEED A NEW STYLE!!!! Help me!! My hair is up to the middle of my neck.
Dear Curly~Wavy Locks,
There is a board here called "Vanities" where several hairdressers hang out. Post your question there
and I'm sure you'll get tons of input. Me, I leave hair problems to the experts. But, remember, no one really likes
their own hair.
Do it! msX
I am having a serious problem. for approx. 1 1/2 years I was in a long-distance relationship and before that the
guy was one of my closest friends. I have always felt we are soul mates, and he plans to move down here and live
near me after his graduation next year. (he had already planned to relocate to this area before he met me). So
we will not be far apart much longer. Being so far apart now is very frustrating for me though. That is the only
problem with my relationship with him. he is the sweetest guy Iíve ever known (I had some bad experiences before
A few weeks ago a friend of mine who lives nearby and goes to my high school asked me out. After considering the
offer for several weeks (I originally turned this guy down, but on his second try I decided to give him a chance,
and broke up with my long-distance guy).
Now I am afraid that I have made a mistake. I still have much stronger feelings for my faraway love than I do for
my new guy. However, I have only been dating him for about 3 1/2 weeks. So I suppose I may not be giving him a
chance. My fear is that I am using the new guy as a replacement for the long- distance one. I cannot be with the
guy who lives so far away, so Iím afraid I may be using the guy I can see every day as a substitute.
Iím a little desperate, to be posting my question in this forum. Normally, my long-distance guy (who is still a
friend now, but he is very hurt by me, understandably) is my confidante. and I have discussed this with him. but
he cannot give me objective advice, since of course he wants me to come back to him. And sometimes I agree with
him. but I keep going back and forth. Stay with one guy or go back to the other? I am so confused, and feel horrible
for doing this to both guys. (the l-d guy knows about my new boyfriend, but my new bf doesnít know about my confusion
over my feelings for my old guy) What do I do? Can you help me think more clearly? thanks!
It doesn't have to be one or the other, does it? If you don't like the local guy, get rid of him. And, if you can't
take the stress and loneliness of a long-distance affair, then be honest with your love. Maybe time will work things
out, maybe not, but I'd hesitate to throw such a friendship in the toilet. Try being unattached and see where your
heart leads you.
Good luck, msX
My problem is Iím 15 and I think I might be pregnant. My Mom has always told me what would happen to me if I were
to get pregnant. Now Iím scared to death. What do I do?
Dear What Do I Do,
Get yourself a home pregnancy test and read the directions. Once you have an idea of a more definite result, talk
to your mom if you are indeed pregnant. Maybe you can ask the school counselor to talk to her with you, so you
can have an intermediary, should she get physical with you. Yes. she will be shocked, she may even be angry, but
you're going to need her help to get through the next several months whatever you decide. Give her some time to
absorb this news. Have you told the boy responsible for this? He should know, too, and he should take some responsibility.
You are in a difficult situation, hon, but it is not the end of the world. Write back and let me know.
Good luck, msX
I need some advise on how to stop feeling so jealous. I get jealous when my husband stares at other women, the
main reason is because I have a very low self-esteem in my self. We get into arguments because he says I'm too
jealous, and that I shouldn't be because he loves me. How can I stop feeling this way?"
Dear Very Jealous,
First realize that jealousy is a very unattractive emotion, flattering at first, but suffocating in the end. No
one wants to be possessed. Loosen up, kiddo. Get out of your house and away from your husband. Do things to improve
yourself, like take a class or pursue a hobby or make friends. When you have a life of your own, it's hard to waste
time being jealous. When you have a reason to feel good about yourself, confidence will follow and jealousy will
I am about to turn 18. About three months ago, the longest, most special relationship that I had ever been in ended.
I had been dating this boy for a year and a half, and I did love him, at the time. But he had to leave for college
and ... to make a long story short, it was not a fun breakup and I was very hurt. I decided that I was not looking
for any more relationships for the time being. I'm a senior in high school and I want to concentrate on getting
into college and enjoying this last year.
The problem is that now there is a boy in my Biology class who I am very interested in. He is cute, smart, funny,
and just a nice guy. I have really thought about asking him on a study date, and my friends are really encouraging
me. But I am hesitant. I can't make myself ask him. I don't know if I'm scared of getting rejected again or if
it's just too soon after my last relationship... I just don't know what to do. What do you think? And if you think
I should go for it, how should I approach the situation? (It's been almost 2 years since I tried to pick up a guy...)
Thanks for your help.
What's your rush? You're going to be in class with this guy for at least a semester, so if it doesn't work out,
you'll have no place to hide. Prolong the flirtship as long as you can, by all means do a study date, but keep
it platonic until you're sure you want more. That way you'll know if you're really interested, just on the rebound,
or want him as a friend. If you make a move too early, you have to sit through another several months of awkwardness
if one of you feels it's been a mistake.
I really like this kid and we talk a lot but he says he just wants to be friends. I still like him and we talk
everyday none stop and I really like him but I wanna know if he really does like me but doesn't want to tell me?
and there is a dance coming up and I want him to ask me? any tips?
Ask him to go "as a friend" - just tell him there is no one that you like right now, and ask if he would
like to go with you as a friend. But, understand that he has told you he just wants to be friends and has given
you no reason to doubt him. Believe him.