Something I Found On The Internet
by Carrie B.
|He came into my life unexpectedly. Sorta like a movie, you know, the
kind that leaves you with little tears about to fall from your eyes. A huge lump in your throat, and inspiration.
A drive that makes you so sure you will find love out there. (Wishful thinking?)
We met on the internet. I can already hear the peanut gallery's snide remarks and deftly dealt blows to my intelligence,
my morals, my thoughts. After all, I must be crazy, and he must be an ax murderer, right? I must be desperate,
after all, to fall in love with a man over the internet. No, none of the above. (You pessimists just have to chalk
this one up to a loss!) He is the most caring, compassionate man I have ever met. And I can say that with all honesty,
with all truths freely tossed into the lion's den for approval.
At first, I wasn't expecting it to happen. Wasn't looking for it. But I wasn't against it. I was open to it sub-consciously
I suppose. Searching for that fairy tale somewhere, my internal thoughts caught up with the rest of science and
dove into technology as well. I had heard so much about it happening to real life people like me, from places in
the world I had never heard of, but it happened! I had talked to him on and off through way of chat rooms for about
a year. In this year, I didn't get to know him really. Except the fact that he seemed like a really nice guy. He
intrigued me. Maybe it was this portal into another realm we were both opening up. Making it harder to not talk.
It's all you can do, just type out your inner most thoughts, and delight in the very thought of making a 'friend'
We started talking, and I wanted to know more about him. I got excited when I saw his name in my e-mail inbox.
Even happier I was when replying to him. I was pouring myself out to this stranger, and he was responding. Giving
of himself more and more each time he hit Send, as was I.
In this chat room, we had 'mutual friends'. Other people that regularly chatted and with whom shared a bond with
us. We knew each other's names, who had kids, each other's love lives, or lack thereof, and who was allergic to
what. A kinship was born in this chat room, but all of that was irrelevant as I asked this other chatter, "What's
his phone number?" See, she lived near him, never met him, but had talked to him a total of two times or so
on the phone. I asked, she gave. I called him that night.
Our phone conversation was great. I was attracted immediately by his voice. He was feeling the same way about mine.
But there had to be more, right? There just has to be! I was thirsting for more information from him. I simply
wanted to know everything about this man. We had seen each other's pictures already, sent through the wonderful
e-mail services. Our eyes glanced upon each other's pictures and saw a promising something there. We liked each
other at this point. Promises to call each other were made, and more e-mails were sent.
Finally, we fell in love. Just like that. Fell. Head over heels. And I can say this, without hesitation, that I
fall in love with this man more and more every day. When I hear his voice, BAM, I fall in love again. When I look
into his eyes, BAM, I'm in love again. Anything this man does equates to pure, sweetened love for me.
Of course, there's a loop hole. Isn't there always? We are long distance. I represent the East Coast, and he the
West. Was it possible, is it possible? Yes and yes. We talked endlessly about this. Tip toed around the fact that
it would be hard, but took into the account that it wouldn't be easy. Pored over every obstacle that would stand
in our way, and would eventually test us and our strength, had we gotten together. We talked about our wants, our
needs, our desires at this time. What we wanted from each other, and how we could go about it. We knew all we wanted
was to be together, but could we handle it? Were we ready to take on something so rough?
We have. Overcoming the distance, the money issues, the conversation issues, well, it hasn't been easy. But we
don't think any relationship is a bed of roses. We take the good, and the bad, and we still love each other.
Through this love we have grown stronger. We have learned from each other. We have taken our relationship beyond
the levels of just something we got 'off the internet'.
Meeting was like a dream. I was absolutely on pins and needles. Seeing him though, only reinstated my previous
feelings I had felt for him, and made them that much stronger. Love at first sight? Oh, it happened alright. We
have shared so many times together. His presence completes me. The lost piece to my puzzle. The one thing that
I can hold onto in this world. The one relationship I have ever felt love from. He loves me. Plain and simple.
With my flaws and all. He sees the good in me, and I can see it in him. I have found my true connection. Without
him, I'd simply be searching for something that couldn't give me what he gives me. It would only be false, and
I know this to be of truth, because for once in my life, my heart feels what my head does, and their both in sync.
I'm loving every minute of it.
When you hear the proverbial warnings of finding anything reliable on the internet, scoff away the remarks. It
can happen, it has happened. When you hear the woes of love tales gone sour, just know that love is alive. It is
all around us, and it will find you when you least expect it. And in the last place you would ever think of finding
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all material Copyright © 2001 by the author
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