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I spend way too much time at the theaters.
I'm a slave to the Hollywood Visionaries.  God help me.

I'll Be Home for Christmas

Directed by Arlene Sanford
Screenplay by Harris Goldberg & Tom Nursall
Starring: Jonathan Taylor Thomas
My advice: Not worthy Christmas fare
Rating: out of

If you're looking for something to watch with the family this Christmas, this isn't it. You're better off renting Jack Frost which is everything that I'll Be Home For Christmas is not.

What a terribly misleading title. The words alone, to me, speak of family, friends, and seasonal sharing. Just good joyous stuff. Not in this movie. You know what it really means? It means we have a spoiled rich kid making his way through college by selling test answers to the football team. This same said kid is offered a Porsche by his father but he can have it ONLY if he shows up by Christmas. What kind of family message is that to send? If my kids decided they weren't coming home for the holidays they wouldn't get a Porsche from me. They'd get an ass-kicking from here to Montana.

So as our "hero" seeks his way across country he is befallen by one horrible tragedy after another in an effort to make it home in time to get that neat Porsche. His girlfriend is whisked off by a horrible ladies man, he's "glued" into a Santa Clause suit, and it looks as if that car is out of the question.

Granted it makes a last ditch effort to redeem itself during the final moments of the film but it doesn't pull it off. The movie is slow and plodding and plays better to the under ten crowd than to anyone else.

So, my advice? I'll be home for Christmas. And I'll be watching Jack Frost.

 

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