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I spend way too much time at the theaters.
I'm a slave to the Hollywood Visionaries.  God help me.


Directed by Jon Amiel

Written by Ronald Bass & William Broyles, Jr.,
based on a story by Ronald Bass & Michael Hertzberg

Starring Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones,
Ving Rhames, Will Patton, Maury Chaykin

My Advice: For true Connery-philes only.

Rating: out of

Egads, what was I thinking?

Welcome to the world of Mac. Mac is one of the premier thieves of the world!! He is legendary!! He is untouchable!! Um....he is old. (Sean is still yummy though)

After a particularly ballsy theft he is set upon by insurance agent, Gin (Zeta-Jones) She is beautiful!!! She is...uh....pretty!!!! Um....she annoys the hell out of me.

This is the first movie in a while that confused me. It jumped from one jumbled plot thread to another and I was half way through my popcorn before I had any idea what was going on. Maybe that was supposed to be a good thing, but my jaw was hanging slack so often I couldn't put my lips together long enough to drink my pop. This left me parched. And the movie did, too.

Of course, if you are looking for wonderful "bum" shots of Zeta-Jones, this is your flick. The scene of her crawling about the yarn web in preparation for the "big" heist even left me feeling a little squishy. Sean is still glorious to look at and, even in a script so full of ridiculous banter as this, he brings Mac to life. Zeta-Jones is petulant and pouty and bitchy and pushy - all of the things I imagine her to be in real life.

It's a rollercoaster ride with no end in sight. And I don't mean that in a "fun-gee-this-is-great" fashion. It's more of a "Lord-if-I-can't-get-off-soon-I-am-gonna-puke" genre of movie going. Shame.  I really like Sean.


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