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DOGMA
Written and Directed by Kevin Smith
Starring Ben Affleck, George Carlin, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino,
Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, Jason Mewes, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock
My advice: this is rental material only.
Rating:  out of    
Okay, so I've seen this movie and I walked out of the theater feeling as if I hadn't seen it at all. For me, it
was that confusing.
In the beginning of this movie, it opens with a number of "flash cards." These cards go on to explain,
essentially, that this film is a comedy. I guess at that point they are attempting to state they are not being
sacrilegious at all but even a non-churchgoer like myself will probably tire of this film in quick fashion regardless.
Portions of this movie left me feeling as if I waded in to deep. If you intend on making a mockery of the Catholic
church then, I think, a full blown mockery is called for. Please don't patronize me with dialogue full of theosophical
discussions as if this will somehow make this movie okay.
Let me introduce you to Jay (Mewes) and Silent Bob (Anderson), Both of these characters have been seen in Smith's
prior flicks, Clerks (which I enjoyed) and Chasing Amy (which left me lukewarm). Jay, of course, is a stoner with
a nonfunctioning brain and a mouth that runs offensively at triple speed. Bob, God bless him, speaks hardly at
all.
A series of coincidences leaves a non-practicing Catholic, Bethany Sloane (Fiorentino), believing that Jay and
Bob are Prophets of God. The particular God (Rickman) who has told her this - not the all-knowing God but just
one with some free time on his hands - has also told her that two Fallen Angels (Affleck and Damon), who have spent
the last billion years in Wisconsin, have discovered a "loophole" with which they can re-enter Heaven.
The problem is, in doing so, they will destroy the Earth. It's a shame the real God (Morisette) is too busy playing
Skee-Ball to worry about it. Now convinced only she can save the Universe, Bethany travels from her home in Illinois
to a New Jersey church taking Jay, Bob and the long dead 13th apostle, Rufus (Rock) with her. And, just for some
added zest, they also take a stripper (Hayek).
Does this sound at all silly to anyone besides myself? I'm not even going to go on here. My real advice? Go play
a good game of Skee-ball.
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