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December 28th, 1999
Ho, Ho, H'oh boy!


Hello, Moms! Welcome to my Tuesday journal entry.

So, I'm sitting here at my desk listening to my awesome CD player, eating pretzels and pondering my good fortune. I had a wonderful weekend. Used some gift certificates to see some fantastic movies - Man on the Moon and The Talented Mr. Ripley. Played with our new PlayStation game - Crash Bandicoot makes me laugh. Good thing, cause I need a good laugh now and then.

Life is starting to level out for us once more. It's actually quite nice -- after almost five years of not seeing him at all but for weekends -- having the hubby home again. I know the babies sure love having dad there.

Cute note. So, we're sitting at dinner the other night and this is the conversation:

My 4 year old: "Dad. I need a glass of milk right now."

My husband to me: "Oh. Would you listen to Her Royal Highness!"

My 4 year old to him: "I'm not Her Royal Highness. Mommy is."

Me to him: "You know. She's right. Get her that milk."

Me to her: "You're such a smart girl, baby!"

Kids kill me. I came down the hall the other day to find my 3 year old son peeing into an empty conditioner bottle. What on earth are they thinking? That's what I want to know. It's just clear from the above sampling that girls are born thinking and boys are born thinking with....well, you know what I'm getting at! It's destiny. <wink>

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! While most of us managed to hold our tenuous grasp of reality together, it's apparent that some weren't as lucky.

Check the following:

LOS ANGELES, California - Santa Claus! The benevolent giver of gifts and happiness! The man with a heart of gold and belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly! The man who rips off his beard in a fit of hysterics, shucks his costume while yelling heinous implications at startled mothers and is then escorted off in search of a straight jacket. Whew. Clearly the fat man has some issues this year.

Kelley Fornatoro told the mall Santa that her 19-month-old son, Brian, would stop crying if he just put his arms around the child to comfort him a little. Santa refused, telling the bewildered mom that he "would not imprison her child!"

As she went to gather wee Brian from the good man's lap he began to shout at her with more fury. "Was it worth it! Was it worth it for you to torture your child for a picture? You must be an evil person!"

Taken aback she threatened him with a lawsuit for his insanity. Santa then leapt from his mighty throne and shouted: "You can complain about me if you want, but I am Santa Claus. I am the best person in the world. I am good.''

Disagreeing with him, Ms. Fornatoro advised him that he had no business being around children.

At this point Santa began an impromptu strip and shucked off his beard, his wig and all of the other fine Santa accouterments, shouting all the while.

Parents waiting in line were shocked, and many of the moms and dads covered their children's eyes lest they witness the event and think Santa was just a fat, old lunatic.

A replacement was brought in immediately and Santa was led away by security personnel.

Ho, ho, h'oh boy. What a nut.

   

Unless otherwise specified, all material
Copyright 1999 by
Marijke Hildreth

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