March 16th, 2000
Yes, it's true. Those of you who may have followed my hideous
Super Boobs columns now have something extra special to look forward to. He's coming, at last. A worthy foe for
Super Boobs derived by the hands of writer extrodinaire, Ben Baker.
In the deep dark recesses of a forgotten X-ray lab, a lone janitor busily tidies and cleans up. As he swishes his
mop across the floor, he bumps into a rusty old bucket. The bucket slips a mysterious green goo on the floor which
the janitor immediately mops up, wringing the glowing liquid out by hand into the mop bucket.
Later the janitor is on his way home when he enters a store. Moments later Super Boobs bursts into the store and
unknowingly flings the poor man into a heap of Zeros and Munchos where he lays for hours unconscious. Finally the
night crew comes to his aid.
"What the hell? Get yer ass outta here old man," a pimply faced teenager snorts.
The janitor stumbles out of the store, feeling sick. His body jerks spasmodically. Unknown to him, the radioactive
goo has combined with the Zeros and Munchos and is altering his molecular structure.
He staggers into the alley and collapses into a dumpster. Later, how much later he is not sure, he is rudely awakened
by a woman changing clothes. He hears the muttered phrase "Super Boobs To The Rescue" as the woman vaults
from the dumpster.
His ailing mind roils with what he has seen. Being a janitor, he's not extremely smart so he adds 2 and a rotting
banana peel and comes up with the idea that this woman is somehow out to get him.
He then glances down at his hands. They have transformed into massive almost plate-like appendages. He can feel
the cold radiating from them as he picks up garbage from the dumpster. With massive strength coursing through his
arms he reduces the garbage to the size of a Chinese Take Out Box. An evil thought crosses his fetid brain. Revenge.
Revenge on the woman who has done this to him.
He will become MR. REVENGE! After a severe kick to the cerebral cortex by the narrator he changes his name to MammogramMan!
Arch Enemy of Super Boobs!
Ben AKA MammogramMan! Baker
Ah. A foe. I shall run for the telephone booth in order to change and await him
See you tomorrow!