March 13th, 2000
Finally! Cult status!
Happy Monday! Peg and Marion have chosen to resurrect themselves.
Instead of redirecting you to their webpage, I'm just going to grab the nutty bull by the horns and bring them
to you direct!
Look carefully! My newest column is linked in here!
Subj: Hello Maji
Date: 03/11/2000 5:41:41 PM Pacific Standard Time
We hope everything is going well for you, despite your extreme business. We are sure all your hard work will pay
off for you in a great way. When you are famous, we will be able to tell people we knew you when you were a resident
of our facility, pinging attendants with m&m's.
We discovered a wonderful web site recently. Not as wonderful as yours. It is Deathclock.com. Put in a few pieces
of information and thru some bizarre actuarial majic, your date of death is predicted. We know this sounds very
ghoulish and it probably is. In fact we don't recommend it to everyone and we are not suggesting you visit this
site. But Marion and I did because after all we are already in our 90's and what do we have to lose? We found out
that as long as we don't expire, shall we say, we will live another 35 to 40
years. That gives us time to do more PsychoAnalytical mind business. Imagine that!
About your web site. Marion and I do recommend your web page to people we meet along the way. In fact, while cruising
in the Gossamer Express recently, Marion brought her down on the Information Highway and routinely stopped cyber
travelers for excessive speeding and improper mouse movement. In lieu
of a speeding ticket and/or a host of other penalties, Marion sentenced offenders to 5 hours of community service
reading your web page to the vision and cyber impaired. Then the real Cyber Police came along and told us to move
along. It has become our mission to find a street corner and "Preach
The Word Of Maji" and entice visitors to your web page. If politically correct enticement doesn't work, then
we will entice folks with electro shock therapy. Of course, we will never neglect the facility or the residents
who are there.
Two of your narrations, "SuperBoobs" and "SuperBoobs Meets Dr. No Thumbs"
I hope we have the titles correct. (*Author's note: It's "Super Boobs meets Dr. Thumbs") are 2 of the
funniest narrations we have ever read. Marion laughed for hours and every time I thought she had regained her composure,
she would think of your works and go into a howling fit of laughter. If laughter is the best medicine, then you
are the MajorDomo of writing prescriptions for comic relief. (And you can quote us on that.) We are professionals.
We know these things.
We are a little worried about our friend Lady named
Dave. We haven't heard from her in quite a long time
despite sending her several notes. The last few times we made our rounds at the facility, she was no where to be
found. I hope the attendants haven't hidden her away someplace. Please keep an eye on
her and be sure to let us know if the dear girl needs anything.
We have taken enough of your time - we know you are busy.
We are, as always, and never thought of not being-
Peg and Marion
Subj: Re: Hello Maji
Date: 03/11/2000 7:55:28 PM Pacific Standard Time
Ah, Peg and Marion. Yes, I am busy, but never too busy for you.
You'll also be happy to note I have taken on yet another daunting task. Coming soon I will be a regular featured
columnist at Pulpfree.com. I shall be heading up the Conspicuous Consumer division. I am nothing
if not conspicuous.
I have been in touch with Dave. She has been hiding out beneath her bed hogging all the M&M's. She promises
to write more often.
Thank you for the warm compliments on my Super Boobs and Super Boobs meets Dr. Thumbs stories. I am afraid that
certain folk in my writers group just would not let that poor super hero die, so I had no choice but to resurrect
her from her coffin of text. I imagine we'll hear more of her in the future.
You've been preaching me like the gospel? That is good to know. It's nice to have followers without having to start
my own cult. And, should you ever come to visit, you should be cheap to entertain what with the purple KoolAid
As for the compliment, I did quote you. You are now safely tucked away at my Fan Mail page.
If nothing else, you have great taste.
The ever popular, ever busy,
That's it for now! See you all tomorrow!