|Thursday, August 26, 1999
Welcome to the last episode of ClayZebraís Days Synopsis for the summer. See you next week, or next month, or next summer, Iím not sure which. Enjoy.
Mike waits for Carrie at her place as the phone rings.
Mike: Hello, Mike Horton here, answering Carrie Reedís phone, despite the fact that the two of us are trying to convince Salem that we broke up so we can manipulate Ali into telling the truth. (Ali hangs up.) Why would someone hang up the phone without saying anything? Who ever heard of something like that happening? Iíve certainly never gotten a hang-up call in my life until now. (Doorbell rings.) They donít put those little, eye-level holes in hotel doors for a reason, do they? Perhaps because, hypothetically, the person at the door could be a psychopath who could kidnap someone at gunpoint?
Ali: (entering) Actually, that IS the reason, strangely enough. Letís go. Iíll have everything I ever wanted, and so will you, as long as all you ever wanted was to be bound and gagged in my back seat while I drove west.
MEANWHILE, Carrie had a reason to leave Mike alone.
Sami: Austin, you make me feel so good about myself, and not just because I look smart next to you. Well, thatís most of the reason, well, heck, that probably is the only reason. But you do make me feel good.
Carrie: Ahem. Sami, leave, I need to talk to Austin.
Austin: Say . . . it . . . in . . . front . . . of . . . Sami . . . Iím . . . just . . . gonna . . . tell . . . her . . . anyway.
Sami: Iíll go. (She does.)
Austin: I . . . hope . . . you . . . signed . . . the . . . divorce . . . papers . . . instead . . . of . . . expecting . . . me . . . to . . . wait . . . for . . . you . . . just . . . because . . . you . . . always . . . waited . . . for . . . me . . . when . . . I . . . wanted . . . to . . . help . . . Sami . . . with . . . Will.
Carrie: I will sign them if youíre sure thatís what you want. But I honestly believed we would be together forever. Iím not sure why, since your parents had a short marriage, as did my parents, my mom and Tony, my dad and Marlena, my uncle and aunts . . .
Austin: Some . . . day . . . youíll . . . see . . . that . . . history . . . shows . . . that . . . Mike . . . uses . . . women . . . and . . . dumps . . . them.
Carrie: Like the history of Margo dying on him and Robin leaving him because he couldnít fully convert to Judaism.
Sami: Brandon, what are you doing here? This house is separate from the mansion.
Brandon: You canít possibly really mind my waltzing into your house if Iím going to flirt with you. Although I know you love Austin.
Sami: Of course I love Austin. Heís my best friend, now that Iíve alienated Jamie and Lucas, who were both better friends to me than I ever deserved.
Brandon: I understand, but remember that since Austinís on the rebound, this probably wonít last.
Sami: If you believe in that, you shouldnít bother with me because Iím on the rebound after Franco.
Brandon: Well, I donít want things between us to last, because Iím smart enough to see that you belong with Lucas. (to camera) ClayZebra, Iím almost sure I didnít really say that.
ClayZebra: Shut up and do what I tell you.
MEANWHILE, in Princess Ginaís castle:
Kurt: I must scare Greta away before she realizes how much her mother has changed. We canít have her trying to help her mother or anything like that, because that would make too much sense.
Gina: (aside) Kurt is keeping me away from my visitors. I must escape this room. (Knocks him out.) Doesnít he know better than to tick off an insane, aging princess?
MEANWHILE, Gina/Hope and Bo are also in Paris.
Gina/Hope: Maybe youíre coming down with something.
Bo: Yeah, that well-known virus that makes people forget the events of entire days. Did Stefano tell you to say that?
Gina/Hope: Must you always blame Stefano for everything? You blamed him for the kidnapping of Shawn-Douglas last year and the kidnappings of Carrie, Sami, and Eric at various times years ago. You blamed him for faking the death of Roman, turning John into a fake Roman, faking the death of Marlena, bringing back Roman and Marlena, exposing Belleís true parentage, stealing Liliís art treasures, covering for Tony when he framed John for murder, kidnapping Marlena several times in the past few years, killing Curtis Reed, making Vivian go insane, helping Peter fake his death and kidnap Jennifer, wiping Lauraís memory of Peterís resurrection, helping Peter paint Lauraís office with something to make her hallucinate, ruining Rachel Blakeís life, and faking his own death millions of times.
Bo: Weíve proven that he did all of that.
Gina/Hope: Oh yeah.
Bo: And if you arenít careful, heíll turn you insane and eventually dead.
Gina/Hope: Gee, nothing beats "eventually dead" as a threat.
Bo: You didnít always feel this way about me. (in flashback) Fancy Face, youíre beautiful from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.
Hope: (flashback) And at this point in time, I could actually see my toes.
Bo: (flashback) Kiss me, and maybe Iíll stop looking like a werewolf. (she does; present time) See, it worked.
End of Show
Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only
and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under
copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me.
Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.