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Tuesday, April 24, 2001
ClayZebra's
helpful hints:
1. Do not stick a pen in a fan while it's running.
2. If you for some reason need to prop the cage of a fan open so you can superglue a blade together, The Importance
of Being Earnest (Signet Classic, 1985) is just the right size.
3. Further synopses will be withheld until a really powerful fan is mailed to ClayZebra Enterprises, c/o Bryn
Mawr College.
4. It's way too hot in Philadelphia!
At
Salem High:
Jan: It'll be over for Chloe and Philip when he sees her in her naked glory on the internet.
Belle: But Jan, I was at Dot Com the other day and all the people on the internet say they're sick of Chloe because
she's on almost every day.
Jan: Hmm. I may need a new plan.
MEANWHILE, Brandon leaves Sami at the
Blue Note.
Sami: Austin walked out on me. Brandon walked out on
me. This must be a sign that I belong with Lucas!
MEANWHILE, at the diner:
Kate: Fay, I know that you're helping me with this job that I desperately need. So I'll repay you by calling your
daughter a whore to your face.
MEANWHILE, Austin picks Greta up.
Austin: I'm looking for Princess Greta. You must be her little sister.
Greta: Well, I've heard that you often end up marrying the little sisters of the women you claim to be in love
with.
MEANWHILE, Bwady's lawyer Cameron arrives
at Abe's house.
Cameron: You dumped me because Lexie was from the right side of the tracks.
Abe: I have no problem with women from the wrong side of the tracks! There's Fay! And there's probably lots of
other past love interests I never knew I had.
Cameron: Well, I'll make you an offer anyway. Let Roman Brady take all the blame. Bwady only wants to hurt his
stepmother, and it would be so much more convenient to do it through her ex-husband than through you.
Abe: Hmm. It's not like he's the real Roman. Okay, let's let him take the fall.
MEANWHILE, Philip Tork nearly interrupts
Victor and Nicole.
Victor: I was just taking a nap.
Philip: I've never known you to take naps.
(thinking) And Dad never had a second cup of coffee
when we lived in the mansion. (aloud) Guess I'll go to school.
Victor: No! No parent wants his kid to come back from a pseudo-business trip and want to get right to class! And
stop dating Chloe! She accused you of rape.
Philip: You kill people, blow things up, run people out of town, cheat on your wife, give your nephew drugs to
make him impotent, and run shady business but I still like you!
(runs out)
Victor: Belle would be more suitable for him.
Nicole: Because Belle's sisters did so well with his brothers . . .
MEANWHILE, Bwady and John are at the
Penthouse.
John: Get a job.
Bwady: What an unreasonable demand to make of a nineteen-year-old who isn't in school! Or one who is in school,
for that matter. But if I have to, can I work with you?
John: You want to?
Bwady: Of course. You never make me do anything. But soon I'll win my case against Abe and not have to work.
John: Because being the only surviving Toscano didn't give you enough money.
End of Show
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