Monday, February 5, 2001
Welcome to ClayZebra's "you think I'd miss the return of Jack-n-Jenn?" synopsis.
Philip interupts Nicole and Victor's breakfast.
Philip, remember that if you need a woman, you can come on to me, I mean come to me, and then . . . whatever you
Philip: Dad, I saw Mom. She was naked.
Victor: (shrugging) Your mother naked doesn't do much for me, either.
Philip: She was snogging Moroni.
Victor: So? I snogged your skanky sister-in-law first. Get over it.
MEANWHILE, Kate and Monroni are also having
Moroni: No parent wants to cause their child's pain. Excuse
me while I go order someone to shoot the man with whom my daughter is passionately in love.
MEANWHILE, with the utterly uninteresting
Sami and Brandon:
Sami: I won't get shot at the coronation. Nothing will happen.
Brandon: Samantha, your contract's up. You can't be too careful.
SPEAKING OF UNINTERESTING, Austin brings
Greta: What's this?
Austin: Finally, I've found someone who shares a level of intelligence with me.
Orphan: (entering) Thanks to you, many more children will be instructed in the development of fake
Austin/Greta: Ain't we great?
MEANWHILE, Alice leaves the airport and
Cabdriver: Sorry, I'm the only cabbie in the world who refuses
Alice: Never mind. I'm Alice Horton! I can stop planes on runways! And then I'll call all over several continents
on my cell phone because I have amazing powers!
May I speak to Jack Deveraux?
Jack: Is this Mrs. Horton?
Alice: Whoa! Dozens of Salemites were talking to Jennifer on the phone for weeks without knowing her voice and
you know mine right away?
I always was the smart hero. Except when I was the villain. And they're usually smart.
Alice: What are you doing in Rome?
Jack: Besides my mandatory shirtless-just-out-of-the-shower scene?
MEANWHILE, Jennifer is flying to Paris.
Jennifer: I don't care about Jack, but I'll daydream about
him all trip.
[Jennifer: I look like a collie.
Jack: Lassie had a great career.]
Jennifer: But he wouldn't admit he loved me.
[Jack: I don't want you!!! That's why I'm kissing you!!!]
Jennifer: Finally, he did.
[Jack: I love you.
Jennifer: That's how you can tell this is a flashback. None of the couples currently doing it on Days much like
each other, except Bozo and Hopeless.]
Jennifer: We were very happy.
[Jennifer: I'm pregnant.
Jack: Oh, so this is a flashback, too? Because you're having the child of the man you love who is also your husband?]
Jennifer: But I'll learn from my mistakes!
Random Person: And not choose an idiot like Peter Blake over Jack again?
Jennifer: Jack! Go away! I can't forgive you for Africa!
Jack: But I didn't go to Africa with you! That was one of those blond imitation Jacks!
Jennifer: There were a few other occasions too numerous to mention.
Jack: Few? Numerous? Isn't that an oxymoron?
Jennifer: YOU are the oxyMORON!
Jack: Just for that, I'm going to shoot Mimi and Bwady even though they aren't here!
Jennifer: My hero! Maybe I'll give you another chance after all.
End of Show
LONG LIVE JACK AND JENN!