I 'knew' what to expect at the end of the show today, and I thought I was prepared. I was not.
One of my first storylines on GL was the adoption of Phillip by Alan and Elizabeth Spaulding.
Alan was then played by the marvelous Christopher Bernau - one of my first soap crushes.
I was fascinated by this rich and powerful man, and his seeming obsession with this child, and him laying claim to this child that wasn't biologically his.
I said down below that I felt Alan and Phillip were one of the best parent/child relationships in soapdom, not because they were so 'good', but because they were so damn complex.
They were a soap study in ' nature' vs. 'nurture'.
The Marlers - Phillip's biological family, were good, kind, decent people.
Phillip, though, at his core, was a SPAULDING, through and through.
It was fascinating, watching through the years, the push and pull between Alan and Phillip. It got freaking UGLY sometimes between them, and in all the years of watching them, there was only ONE false note the entire time...
To this day, I will never believe that Alan shot Phillip. It's the only uncharacteristic thing that never fit in with their relationship. It has been fascinating to watch how Alan's 'love' for Phillip has clouded everything else in his life.
For them to come full circle as they have, with Alan saving Phillip - I wasn't surprised. Alan finally became the father he'd always wanted to be for Phillip, and he had 'arranged' and 'taken care' of his family, by leaving them the Phillip that would lead ' the family' into the next generation. Alan broke the cycle with Phillip. He finally bested Brandon.
It took years for me to accept Ron Raines as ALAN, but I did, and I want to thank him and Grant Aleksander, who was magnificent in that last scene. EVERYTHING that Alan and Phillip had meant to one another was evident in that scene, and I bawled like a baby.