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Thread: Sad News

  1. #9
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    Post Re: Sad News

    I got to see Carlin in the early days, I think it must have been '70 or maybe a little later. It was in an gym, we all sat on the floor and laughed ourselves silly.

    This morning we were talking about how some humor holds up well over time and some loses it's punch. I still laugh whenever I think of him explaining the difference between baseball and football:

    Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

    Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
    In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.

    Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

    I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

    Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
    Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

    Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
    Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

    Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
    Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

    In football you wear a helmet.
    In baseball you wear a cap.

    Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
    Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

    In football you receive a penalty.
    In baseball you make an error.

    In football the specialist comes in to kick.
    In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

    Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
    Baseball has the sacrifice.

    Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
    In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

    Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
    Football has the two minute warning.

    Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
    Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

    In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
    In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

    And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

    In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

    In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
    Only an expert can deal with the problem

  2. #10
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    Post Re: Sad News

    The baseball riff, of course, on youtube:
    Only an expert can deal with the problem

  3. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 1999
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    215

    Re: Sad News

    Love the baseball-football comparisons. It does so perfectly illustrate why I am a baseball fan and not a football fan!
    I will miss the wit of Mr. Carlin.
    My husband and I were recently discussing the "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television".

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
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    14,676

    Post Re: Sad News

    There was this December evening...
    It had been a tough day.
    The stress of Christmas, plus some other things had me on the verge of tears.
    The Canuckian, God bless him...
    Rented a "Best of Carlin" movie,
    then prescribed a hot bath and pajamas.
    It was the perfect remedy for the blues.
    I highly recommend it.

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 1997
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    1,098

    Re: Sad News

    I never liked his "blue" humor, but the baseball/football piece was and is poetry. My husband was flipping through channels last night and told me that George Carlin was dead, and I thought at first that he must be mistaken.
    I like monkeys.

  6. #14
    Join Date
    May 2000
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    Montana
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    Post I learn more stuff

    from reading what you all are talking about. I hadn't heard this, since I don't watch TV or listen to radio much these days.

    I so Loved George. His tale of dogs and cats verse time cracks me up each time I hear it. I will miss his humor, and HBO specials.
    When I grow old I shall wear purple

  7. #15
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    Re: Sad News

    I just read that SNL is going to show the first episode from 1975, hosted by George, this weekend. I'll be watching if I can manage to stay awake
    Only an expert can deal with the problem

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