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Thread: I need help with this one

  1. #1

    Post I need help with this one

    Ok, here it goes. I'm a contractor in ny, I asked a copywriter to put together a draft for me for a postcard . I have three drafts to choose from and I can't decide which to choose.
    Please help and send me some input.
    Here they are.
    ==================================
    POST #1
    There are so many stressful things in life
    Why not relax in your newly renovated...
    ---(4 pics below of each pleasurable description)
    Bathroom, Livingroom, Kitchen or Bedroom
    Don't wait for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
    -------Turn to the back of postcard---------
    Call today for a FREE estimate on:[list top 5 services]
    [personal info]

    POST #2
    Dear Homeowner:

    Would you like a new look for your home or decorate a special area of a room?
    Don't wait for Tye Pennington to come knocking at your door.
    Let me personally recreate your home, bringing peace, joy and love where
    you need it most.

    My name Home Improvements has served the Hudson Valley community over several decades
    with quality service, trust and cost efficiency.
    _-----------turn to back-----------------
    Call today and let me give you a free estimate for your ultimate home improvement.
    I look forward to hearing from you,
    Jack[list services]
    [personal info]


    POST #3
    Can I ask you a question?
    What is the name of that moment when you:
    [-- 3 pics of each description]
    Slip into a hot bubble bath...
    Fall into a deep comfortable sleep...
    Complete a great meal in your kitchen for your family...

    It's called 'Peace Of Mind'
    ...And you deserve it!
    _-----------turn to back-----------------
    Let my name Home Improvements Re-invent your home.
    Call today and take advantage of this season's great discount savings![list services]

    [personal info]

    Thanks in advance



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstream from the Big Apple
    Posts
    1,523

    Re: I need help with this one

    Not 2. I really hate the "Dear Homeowner" part. Anything with that goes in the trash immediately. I sort of like #3, but I'd take out "Can I ask you a question? What is the name of that moment when you:" and just use

    [-- 3 pics of each description]
    Slip into a hot bubble bath...
    Fall into a deep comfortable sleep...
    Complete a great meal in your kitchen for your family...

    It's called 'Peace Of Mind' ...And you deserve it!

    PS What part of NY do you work in?
    Only an expert can deal with the problem

  3. #3

    Post Re: I need help with this one

    The Hudson Valley. Orange ,Ulster and Sullivan counties are my primary territories.
    thanks for the input

  4. #4

    Wink Re: I need help with this one

    I like number three...but I think your subject should be "It's called Peace of mind, and you deserve it..."

    that would grab my attention.

    That's my two cents anyway...

  5. #5

    Post Re: I need help with this one

    Thanks for the input. I think #3 is a winner also, I plan on sending out postcards after the new year. Best to everyone.
    Have a happy new year.

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