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Ambivalence
8.26.09, 11:12 AM
I am a 41 year old that is dating again. I wonder if other 41 year olds have as many issues with it than I do. To complicate matters, I am a lupus sle sufferer. I am in remission and do very well with everday tasks at this point. I am looking for love so I don't usually come out and tell anyone that I am dating that I have it. Do you think I should tell a person that I am dating about it early on or wait until after a 6 month period, when I know if I have been seeing the person long enough it would be safe to let them know about it?

Annie
8.26.09, 12:41 PM
Hi Ambivalence. I have SLE and a few of it's friends as well, but am not in the dating period of my life. I'm sure this is a tough decision, though. I find that I rarely tell anyone until I sort of have to. That said, I would think you'd run in to problems if you waited too long. I would wait a date or two before I brought it up, but I think 6 months is too long. At that point it is apt to feel like you've been hiding something, even being deceptive. I'm sure you're goal is to find a partner who can deal with what may come, so it's not an issue at the very beginning when you are finding out if you like the person, but way before anything gets very serious.