OKDeanna
5.26.07, 10:40 PM
Posted here at Coffeerooms and at my website, About Passions: The OKDeanna Fanfic Collection (http://www.geocities.com/okdeanna)
The Alphabet Series
By
OKDeanna (okdeanna@yahoo.com)
Post Fancy
Part One: Addicted to Gone
Addicted
“Isn’t that your ex?”
Luis sank the eight ball in the corner pocket and straightened, his blurred gaze lifting from the near empty green felt to follow his most recent opponent’s line of sight. Between the thick layer of smoke and his alcohol consumption, it took him a minute to bring the pool hall’s newest patron into focus. When he did, he wished like hell he hadn’t.
The black off the shoulder halter-top and short, leopard print skirt wasn’t familiar. If it had been, Luis knew—without a doubt—his mind would have recalled all the ways he’d coaxed her out of it. All the ways his hands explored her soft calves. Her toned stomach. Her slender neck.
His fingers would itch to cup her breasts, massaging the firm, apricot peaks with his hands until she begged for his mouth to do the same. Her sweet, low moans of pleasure would fill his ears, her wild and passionate cries driving him closer and closer to his own release.
His insides quaked with the need to hold her in his arms, kissing his way along her bare flesh, ravishing her lithe body the way he had so many nights before. Even now, amidst the crowd of regulars, he could feel the slow burn of desire erupt beneath his skin. Warming him from the inside out.
Yet instead of losing control and giving into his more primal urges, he shook his head and sighed. “That’s Sheridan,” he said clearing his throat, praying his friend didn’t pick up on his rusty tone of voice. “I wonder what she’s doing here? This isn’t exactly a typical hangout for a Crane.”
“Typical? Now that’s a word I’d not associate with a lass as beautiful as her.”
Luis wouldn’t, either. At least not the Sheridan he’d come to know and—
Don’t go there, buddy. You know where thoughts like that lead. Heartache central.
Mac’s face broke out into a fond smile of remembrance as he said, “I never thought I’d see the day anyone beat me at darts, but I’d be damned if she didn’t do it, mate. Your Sheridan impressed us all that first night, didn’t she? She’s one of a kind that lass. A bloke would have to be daft in the head to let a fine as woman as her get away, am me right?”
Unless the ‘lass’ wanted to get away, Luis thought bitterly. “It’s…complicated.”
“Love always is, me friend. Love always is.” Mac tossed a twenty on the table and clapped him on the shoulder before heading for the front door…and Sheridan.
A wide smile spread across her ruby lips as his friend placed a chaste kiss against her cheek. Mac said something, causing her to laugh and then…her sapphire eyes were on him, their gazes locking much the same way they did the first time they met.
Luis followed her progress as she weaved her way through the crowd, coming to a stop in front of him, her blue eyes bright with life. “Hi,” she whispered softly, an almost shy smile resting on her lips.
“Hi yourself,” he said denying the urge to once again kiss her senseless.
And that’s when it hit him. No matter how much pain they put each other through. How many times they said it was over. It would never be true. They were connected. Always had been, always would be. He supposed it came with the territory when you loved someone as much as he loved her, and vice versa.
Love was an ever present, mind-blowing addiction.
And he was, without a doubt, addicted to her.
Still.
Breathe
“I…didn’t expect to see you,” she whispered softly, her sapphire eyes following him as he removed his hands from the back of her chair and slid into his own seat opposite her. “I don’t even know why I came. I haven’t been here since…well, a long time.”
He nodded once. “Yeah, it’s been a while for me, too.” He reached for his mug of beer and brought it to his lips for another sip as he asked, “Why isn’t Chris with you?”
She frowned at the question, and hurt flickered across the features of her face. “I can’t believe you would think that I— I would never bring him here, Luis. This is—was—our place.”
They had a lot of places once. She couldn’t keep Chris out of all of them. “It hasn’t been ours for a long time, Sheridan. We both know that. But…I’m glad you didn’t bring him with you. This way I get you to myself again. At least for a little while anyway.”
“Where is…Fancy?” she questioned hesitantly. “Why isn’t she with you tonight?”
She didn’t bring Chris, but she thought he would bring Fancy? Here? He shook his head. “Same reason Chris isn’t with you,” he lied. For some reason, he could bring himself to admit he and Fancy weren’t together anymore. Not that he thought Sheridan would give a damn, but…he did. It was easier to think of them as finished if he could pretend he had someone else waiting for him at home. Even if that were no longer true.
He averted his eyes toward a pool table in the distance. “You remember how to play pool?” he asked, turning his attention back to her. “I could use a new opponent.”
“Why so you can beat me the way you beat Mac?” Amusement lit her eyes. “He told me you slaughtered him. Warned me never to bet against you.” She winked and admitted, “I told him I’d challenge you to a game of darts instead.”
Darts? He hated darts. “I don’t think tonight is a good night for that challenge. I can play pool drunk off my ass with my eyes closed, but darts? I might seriously injure someone.”
Amusement turned to laughter. “Somehow I doubt you’ve had that much to drink.” She titled her head to the side, studying him. “If we can’t play pool and we can’t play darts, what’s left for us to do?”
He could think of a million things for them to do, and a million more ways to do them. But to her, he held out a hand and suggested, “How about we dance?”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Dance? Here? Luis, I—Are you sure?”
He smiled, nodding. “I’m not sure about much right now,” he said, sliding to his feet and gently taking her hand. “But I am sure about this. Come on. It’ll be fun.”
He helped her out of her chair and led her through the thick crowd, pulling her in close the second they reached the small, hardwood dance floor in the back. He captured one hand against his chest, and as they slowly began to sway to the music, the other moved to drape along the back of his neck, her red fingernails lightly scraping his skin.
Luis met Sheridan’s eyes then, and suddenly, he forgot how to breathe.
Captivated
Luis couldn’t remember the exact day he fell in love with Sheridan. To tell the truth, he couldn’t remember much of anything outside of the two beautiful, sapphires orbs gazing back at him. The longer he stared into those glittery blue gems, the more he forgot why he wasn’t supposed to care.
Which suited him just fine.
“Luis, I—”
Her voice broke off as his gaze dropped to her lips, mesmerized by the way they parted, all but daring him to sample the succulent, burgundy softness his own mouth craved. Her tongue darted out, moistening her bottom lip and Luis did the only thing he could do—he closed his eyes and gave up the fight.
He touched her lips once. Twice. A third time. Before finally, mercifully, she began to kiss him back. Slow, tender, and passionate. Each gliding movement snapped another rung of his control, until finally he let his own hunger and passion for her take over.
She tasted like strawberries. Sweet, tart, and spine-tingling, delicious.
He wanted more. Needed more. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get that here. With a reluctant groan, he lifted his head and met Sheridan’s stunned gaze. “I…won’t apologize for that, sweetheart. I wanted to do that since the second I saw you tonight.” She made a surprised O and he couldn’t stop himself from stealing another kiss before he admitted, “You still captivate me, Sheridan. No matter what happens between us, I won’t ever stop caring about you.”
Tears welled in her eyes. One hand moved to touch his cheek. “I’ll always care about you, too, Luis. I… haven’t forgotten what we had together. I never will. Nothing else comes close to the way you make me feel. The way you have always made me feel.”
He knew what she meant. He felt the same way about her. “So what do we do, baby? Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know, Luis. I just don’t know.”
The song ended and Luis led her back to their table. He wasn’t surprised when she made the move to leave. He was, however, shocked by her invitation to join her. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, as he grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and draped it across her shoulders. “What will you tell Chris if he finds out we were together tonight?”
“What will you tell Fancy?” she countered, giving him a pointed look. She slid her arms into the sleeves of his coat and sighed. “Why don’t we save those thoughts for another time? Besides, it’s just a walk on the wharf. It’s not like I invited you home with me.”
No, but if she had, he’d have gone. Regardless of the consequences it might hold. “You’re right,” he whispered instead. “It’s just a walk.” He smiled when she grinned at him, and motioned for her to lead the way through the crowd to the front door. When she asked about his being cold, he shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll have to fight any cold tonight, sweetheart. The blood is pumping too fast for that.”
She blushed at the bluntness of his words and sighed. “Oh, Luis, what are we going to do?”
Hell if he knew. But right now, he didn’t much care, either. “Let’s just enjoy the moment, sweetheart. Whatever comes later can wait.” His smile widened as she reached for his hand, linking their fingers together. He gave her a light squeeze in return and together, hand in hand, they walked toward their favorite spot—the wharf.
Dazzled & Dazed
Gorgeous, shimmering patches of moonlight caught on the raven hair of the man beside her, illuminating the coarse, black strands with a halo of iridescent blue beams. For a moment, she was struck silent by the sheer beauty of the sight. Dazed by the handsome profile of his olive-toned features, at once both so familiar and so utterly mystifying she inwardly gasped.
She swallowed the protrusion of anxiety in her throat, and blew out a short breath, turning her attention back to the immeasurable expanse of rough, darkened water and pale, breaking waves. In the distance, a seagull cried, its mournful call so reminiscent of the longing she felt inside.
Despite the knowledge that it was wrong, that she didn’t truly deserve a second chance at real love, she couldn’t deny her feelings for the man beside her. She wanted him. Back in her life. With a ferocity that simultaneously petrified and exhilarated her.
“Hey,” Luis said, reaching out a hand to gently clutch her elbow. “Are you all right? You look sad all of the sudden? You having second thoughts about asking me to come with you tonight?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just— Things have been so complicated between us these last few years,” she admitted, twisting to face him. “Somehow the dreams we had to share our lives got lost along the way and…I miss them. I don’t think I realized how much until tonight.”
He smiled down into her eyes, lifting one large palm to cup her cheek. “I know what you mean,” he said, his amber gaze searching her face. “I miss the way things used to be between us, too. Very, very much.”
He meant it. She could see the truth within his eyes. “Luis, I—”
“Shh,” he said, covering her lips with two fingers. “Don’t say anything. Just…let me look at you.” He trailed his finger across her lips, his eyes dropping to follow its path. “I almost forgot how soft these were. How full and sensual and…tempting.”
She swallowed, hard, and her tongue shot out to moisten her dry lips, catching the tip of his finger, the unexpected contact causing them both to gasp aloud. He looked up at her then, his eyes glistening with unspoken questions, and she watched, mesmerized by the intensity of his gaze, as his hand fell to her hips and his head slowly descended toward hers.
Her breath caught in her throat. Her knees nearly buckled from the anticipation of his kiss. From the utter joy of—
His lips brushed hers. Light, hesitant…and oh so tender.
She gasped again, startled by the overwhelming power of emotions that shot into her veins. By the sheer electricity of his touch as it crackled to life beneath her skin. As if needing to remind her how strong of a connection they held between them.
But she knew. She had always known. Men who kissed like him were hard to forget. She should know.
Luis angled his head and increased the pressure of the kiss, his callused fingers sliding beneath the thin material of her shirt to dig into the bare flesh at her waist, until she had no choice but to step further into his embrace. His other hand lifted to the back of her hair, tangling in the strands, gripping them as if he were afraid she might pull away.
But she wouldn’t. Couldn’t. She wanted this kiss as much as she needed the air to breathe. And she desired it even more.
Her hand fisted into the material of his black button-up, her trembling fingers itching to undo them one by one, until she could explore the smooth, powerful muscles shielded beneath. Yet, instead of undressing him, she forced her grip to relax, and lifted her hand to the back of his neck, groaning into his mouth as the heat from his skin seeped into the pad of her fingers.
His waiting tongue swept across the opening of her mouth, its rich velvet texture catapulting her senses into an overload of sweet, mesmerizing sensation. She repaid his ministrations with a tentative swipe of her own tongue, and then…she was lost, both dazzled and dazed by the power of her desire as their kiss propelled her to another place.
Enchanted Dreams
As the world around her melted away, a dizzying current of pleasure raced through her blood, igniting the first real spark of a long, enchanted dream. Where nothing mattered but this—the feel of his lips, the touch of his hand…the strength of his embrace as he softly, tenderly whispered words she never expected to hear again.
But it can’t last, a tiny voice warned. Nothing this good ever lasts.
Panting, completely devoid of breath, Sheridan pulled back, her eyes widening as they connected with the shocked, amber gaze of the man that stood before her. A man so much a part of her soul it terrified her.
Her lower lip quivered, and she lifted a hand to still it, the action unintentionally drawing his tormented gaze back to her mouth. She watched as he struggled to regain his composure, taking in huge gulps of air even as his eyes begged for another taste, another kiss.
Oh God. What had they done? “Luis, I—”
“Don’t,” he ordered hoarsely. “Just…don’t.” He shook his head. “We both…wanted it to happen. We still want it to happen.”
The fact that he was right did not ease her discomfort in the least. She drew another breath, and turned away from him to walk toward the wooden railing in the distance. Lifting her hand, she curled her fingers around the hard, weathered beam.
Beneath her palm she could feel the indention of two sets of initials. His and hers.
A reminder, he’d once told her. For whenever times got tough. So she would never again doubt how much he loved her. How much he wanted to be with her. And for years, she had clung to the promise in those words, as if they were the only lifeboat in a chaotic sea.
But they hadn’t saved her from the pain and heartache their relationship wrought. Nor had they saved her from the many mistakes they made between them. Yet, somehow, she still clung to the hope—the need to believe that it was true.
“I’m sorry,” he announced from behind her. “I never meant to…hurt you. I just… I needed to know it was still there. That connection between us. I needed to know I hadn’t killed it fully.”
She twisted her head to look at him. “Why? What does it matter now? I’m married. You’re in love with Fancy. Whatever we had, or could have…,” she paused, turning back to the ocean, “…is gone.”
“Is it?” he questioned, coming up behind her, his arms trapping her against the railing. His lips hovered near her ear as he challenged, “Tell me you didn’t feel something when I kissed you just now. Tell me you didn’t imagine my hands on you. That you didn’t imagine the two of us…being together.”
His rich, velvet tone sent a million tiny shockwaves through her nervous system. Even if she wanted to deny his claim, she couldn’t have. The effect of his voice, so deep and sure, would have given away whatever facade she tried to hide. “It still doesn’t change the facts, Luis. I’m married, and despite what we’ve done in the past…I won’t break those vows again.”
“Because you love him?” he asked, his tone both amused and irritated. “Or because you’re too scared to face what you feel inside?”
Scared? She wasn’t scared. She was…absolutely petrified.
Flushed
A tingling of excitement raced up her arm as he gently swung her around to face him. His dark eyes moved across her face—searching for an answer, she assumed. She twisted her head to stare at the empty boardwalk in the distance. “I should go,” she whispered after a moment. “It’s getting late and…”
“Your husband awaits,” he finished for her, his voice as emotionless as his words. He reached up, clutching her chin with his thumb and forefinger, and she had no choice but to look at him again. “Will you kiss him the way you kissed me tonight? Will he make you feel what…I make you feel?”
Her body trembled at his words. She shut her eyelids. “Why are you doing this, Luis? Why… now?” His palm flattened against her cheek, this thumb caressing her cheekbone. She opened her eyes. “I thought we… settled this between us. I thought… we both moved on.”
“So did I.” He lifted another hand to her face, framing it inside his large palms. “But then I saw you tonight. Really saw you. You aren’t happy with him, Sheridan. I can see it in your eyes.” He stopped, dropping his hands to the wood beams behind her, trapping her body with his words as well his movements, and shifted closer as he announced, “You still love me.”
Her skin flushed scarlet beneath his hypnotic gaze. “No, I…don’t.”
“Yes…” he paused, giving her a knowing smile, “…you do.”
The mystery in his eyes beckoned her. Called her. Dared her to resist his charm…his words. And she wanted to. God how she wanted to. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t because deep down she knew that he was right…
She did love him. More than she loved the air to breathe.
“Admit it,” he ordered softly, pulling her body tight against him. “Tell me how you feel. Tell me what you want. What you really want.”
You, her mind answered, I want you. But to him, she said, “I want to go home.”
It took more strength than she expected to break out of his hold, and when she did, she wanted nothing more than to have him pull her back in again. “I have a husband, Luis. A husband that…,” she refused to look at him as she forced the rest of the words past her lips, “…isn’t you.”
“A husband you stay with for a little boy you love.” He gripped her arm, and twisted her around to face him. “That isn’t a life, Sheridan. Hell, it’s barely even breathing. You don’t love him. You sure as hell don’t belong with him. You never did.
“You belong with me.”
“So says the man who is sleeping with my niece.” She shook her head, pulling her arm free of his hold. “You want to talk about where I belong? What about you, Luis? If you love me so much, how could you go after Fancy? How could you do that to me?”
He lowered his eyes, and thrust his hands into the pocket of his jeans. “How could I not?” he asked after a long moment of silence. “She reminds me so much of you. How you used to look at me. With that big, beautiful sparkle in your eyes that…you only got whenever you’d see me.
“She had that,” he admitted in a whisper, lifting his eyes back to her face. “And I needed that. In some twisted way, I think it gave me hope. Allowed me to believe that someday I’d see that same look in your eyes again.”
He stepped toward her. “And I did see it, Sheridan. I saw it tonight.” He reached up and ran his knuckles across her cheek. “I’m not proud of what I did with Fancy. I know it was wrong. Some days I could barely look at myself in the mirror because of it. But…being with her, laughing with her, it… made my loneliness a little easier to sleep with at night.”
“Oh, Luis.” She lifted her hand to the one on her cheek. “I am so sorry I… didn’t know. I didn’t realize—.”
“You know now,” he interrupted, capturing her hand, lowering their arms until he could pull her back against his chest. “Tell Chris you’re leaving him, Sheridan. Tell him you want to be with me. That you… still love me.”
Her lower lip quivered as she hoarsely whispered, “I…can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both,” she confessed softly. “We’ve tried so many times before, Luis. It never works. And I refuse to tear my son’s world apart over something that won’t even last.”
“But you’re willing to break both our hearts for a man you don’t love? A man that will never make you as happy as I can?” He released her and stepped back. “Maybe you’re right then. Maybe we don’t belong together. Because the woman I see right now…I don’t even recognize her.”
Some days she didn’t, either. She closed her eyes. “I…have to go, Luis. I…” she opened her eyes to look at him, “…need to get home.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, turning his back on her. “I guess you do.”
Gone
In his peripheral vision, Luis saw her lift her hand, its trembling movements hovering just above his left shoulder blade. For a moment, he expected her to make the contact. To offer him the solace he knew he could no longer feel.
But she didn’t. Hell, maybe she couldn’t.
He frowned when she dropped her hand, and listened as she silently removed his coat from her shoulders and placed it on the wooden banister beside him. The click of her heels echoed in his head as she quickly backed away out of his reach, and the only thing he wanted in those few seconds was to somehow find the words to make her stay. To make her…believe in them again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered softly, her voice filled with the tears he couldn’t shed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Luis. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do again. We just…aren’t the same people anymore. We want different things now. Different…lives.”
No, they didn’t. They wanted the exact same thing. She just refused to let herself trust it. Trust him.
He shut his eyes. Fought to retain control. Ignore the mounting anger that seeped into his bloodstream, desperately trying to escape his thoughts—his voice. When he finally found the courage to lift his eyelids and speak, Sheridan was…
Gone.
End of Part One
The Alphabet Series
By
OKDeanna (okdeanna@yahoo.com)
Post Fancy
Part One: Addicted to Gone
Addicted
“Isn’t that your ex?”
Luis sank the eight ball in the corner pocket and straightened, his blurred gaze lifting from the near empty green felt to follow his most recent opponent’s line of sight. Between the thick layer of smoke and his alcohol consumption, it took him a minute to bring the pool hall’s newest patron into focus. When he did, he wished like hell he hadn’t.
The black off the shoulder halter-top and short, leopard print skirt wasn’t familiar. If it had been, Luis knew—without a doubt—his mind would have recalled all the ways he’d coaxed her out of it. All the ways his hands explored her soft calves. Her toned stomach. Her slender neck.
His fingers would itch to cup her breasts, massaging the firm, apricot peaks with his hands until she begged for his mouth to do the same. Her sweet, low moans of pleasure would fill his ears, her wild and passionate cries driving him closer and closer to his own release.
His insides quaked with the need to hold her in his arms, kissing his way along her bare flesh, ravishing her lithe body the way he had so many nights before. Even now, amidst the crowd of regulars, he could feel the slow burn of desire erupt beneath his skin. Warming him from the inside out.
Yet instead of losing control and giving into his more primal urges, he shook his head and sighed. “That’s Sheridan,” he said clearing his throat, praying his friend didn’t pick up on his rusty tone of voice. “I wonder what she’s doing here? This isn’t exactly a typical hangout for a Crane.”
“Typical? Now that’s a word I’d not associate with a lass as beautiful as her.”
Luis wouldn’t, either. At least not the Sheridan he’d come to know and—
Don’t go there, buddy. You know where thoughts like that lead. Heartache central.
Mac’s face broke out into a fond smile of remembrance as he said, “I never thought I’d see the day anyone beat me at darts, but I’d be damned if she didn’t do it, mate. Your Sheridan impressed us all that first night, didn’t she? She’s one of a kind that lass. A bloke would have to be daft in the head to let a fine as woman as her get away, am me right?”
Unless the ‘lass’ wanted to get away, Luis thought bitterly. “It’s…complicated.”
“Love always is, me friend. Love always is.” Mac tossed a twenty on the table and clapped him on the shoulder before heading for the front door…and Sheridan.
A wide smile spread across her ruby lips as his friend placed a chaste kiss against her cheek. Mac said something, causing her to laugh and then…her sapphire eyes were on him, their gazes locking much the same way they did the first time they met.
Luis followed her progress as she weaved her way through the crowd, coming to a stop in front of him, her blue eyes bright with life. “Hi,” she whispered softly, an almost shy smile resting on her lips.
“Hi yourself,” he said denying the urge to once again kiss her senseless.
And that’s when it hit him. No matter how much pain they put each other through. How many times they said it was over. It would never be true. They were connected. Always had been, always would be. He supposed it came with the territory when you loved someone as much as he loved her, and vice versa.
Love was an ever present, mind-blowing addiction.
And he was, without a doubt, addicted to her.
Still.
Breathe
“I…didn’t expect to see you,” she whispered softly, her sapphire eyes following him as he removed his hands from the back of her chair and slid into his own seat opposite her. “I don’t even know why I came. I haven’t been here since…well, a long time.”
He nodded once. “Yeah, it’s been a while for me, too.” He reached for his mug of beer and brought it to his lips for another sip as he asked, “Why isn’t Chris with you?”
She frowned at the question, and hurt flickered across the features of her face. “I can’t believe you would think that I— I would never bring him here, Luis. This is—was—our place.”
They had a lot of places once. She couldn’t keep Chris out of all of them. “It hasn’t been ours for a long time, Sheridan. We both know that. But…I’m glad you didn’t bring him with you. This way I get you to myself again. At least for a little while anyway.”
“Where is…Fancy?” she questioned hesitantly. “Why isn’t she with you tonight?”
She didn’t bring Chris, but she thought he would bring Fancy? Here? He shook his head. “Same reason Chris isn’t with you,” he lied. For some reason, he could bring himself to admit he and Fancy weren’t together anymore. Not that he thought Sheridan would give a damn, but…he did. It was easier to think of them as finished if he could pretend he had someone else waiting for him at home. Even if that were no longer true.
He averted his eyes toward a pool table in the distance. “You remember how to play pool?” he asked, turning his attention back to her. “I could use a new opponent.”
“Why so you can beat me the way you beat Mac?” Amusement lit her eyes. “He told me you slaughtered him. Warned me never to bet against you.” She winked and admitted, “I told him I’d challenge you to a game of darts instead.”
Darts? He hated darts. “I don’t think tonight is a good night for that challenge. I can play pool drunk off my ass with my eyes closed, but darts? I might seriously injure someone.”
Amusement turned to laughter. “Somehow I doubt you’ve had that much to drink.” She titled her head to the side, studying him. “If we can’t play pool and we can’t play darts, what’s left for us to do?”
He could think of a million things for them to do, and a million more ways to do them. But to her, he held out a hand and suggested, “How about we dance?”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Dance? Here? Luis, I—Are you sure?”
He smiled, nodding. “I’m not sure about much right now,” he said, sliding to his feet and gently taking her hand. “But I am sure about this. Come on. It’ll be fun.”
He helped her out of her chair and led her through the thick crowd, pulling her in close the second they reached the small, hardwood dance floor in the back. He captured one hand against his chest, and as they slowly began to sway to the music, the other moved to drape along the back of his neck, her red fingernails lightly scraping his skin.
Luis met Sheridan’s eyes then, and suddenly, he forgot how to breathe.
Captivated
Luis couldn’t remember the exact day he fell in love with Sheridan. To tell the truth, he couldn’t remember much of anything outside of the two beautiful, sapphires orbs gazing back at him. The longer he stared into those glittery blue gems, the more he forgot why he wasn’t supposed to care.
Which suited him just fine.
“Luis, I—”
Her voice broke off as his gaze dropped to her lips, mesmerized by the way they parted, all but daring him to sample the succulent, burgundy softness his own mouth craved. Her tongue darted out, moistening her bottom lip and Luis did the only thing he could do—he closed his eyes and gave up the fight.
He touched her lips once. Twice. A third time. Before finally, mercifully, she began to kiss him back. Slow, tender, and passionate. Each gliding movement snapped another rung of his control, until finally he let his own hunger and passion for her take over.
She tasted like strawberries. Sweet, tart, and spine-tingling, delicious.
He wanted more. Needed more. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get that here. With a reluctant groan, he lifted his head and met Sheridan’s stunned gaze. “I…won’t apologize for that, sweetheart. I wanted to do that since the second I saw you tonight.” She made a surprised O and he couldn’t stop himself from stealing another kiss before he admitted, “You still captivate me, Sheridan. No matter what happens between us, I won’t ever stop caring about you.”
Tears welled in her eyes. One hand moved to touch his cheek. “I’ll always care about you, too, Luis. I… haven’t forgotten what we had together. I never will. Nothing else comes close to the way you make me feel. The way you have always made me feel.”
He knew what she meant. He felt the same way about her. “So what do we do, baby? Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know, Luis. I just don’t know.”
The song ended and Luis led her back to their table. He wasn’t surprised when she made the move to leave. He was, however, shocked by her invitation to join her. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, as he grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and draped it across her shoulders. “What will you tell Chris if he finds out we were together tonight?”
“What will you tell Fancy?” she countered, giving him a pointed look. She slid her arms into the sleeves of his coat and sighed. “Why don’t we save those thoughts for another time? Besides, it’s just a walk on the wharf. It’s not like I invited you home with me.”
No, but if she had, he’d have gone. Regardless of the consequences it might hold. “You’re right,” he whispered instead. “It’s just a walk.” He smiled when she grinned at him, and motioned for her to lead the way through the crowd to the front door. When she asked about his being cold, he shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll have to fight any cold tonight, sweetheart. The blood is pumping too fast for that.”
She blushed at the bluntness of his words and sighed. “Oh, Luis, what are we going to do?”
Hell if he knew. But right now, he didn’t much care, either. “Let’s just enjoy the moment, sweetheart. Whatever comes later can wait.” His smile widened as she reached for his hand, linking their fingers together. He gave her a light squeeze in return and together, hand in hand, they walked toward their favorite spot—the wharf.
Dazzled & Dazed
Gorgeous, shimmering patches of moonlight caught on the raven hair of the man beside her, illuminating the coarse, black strands with a halo of iridescent blue beams. For a moment, she was struck silent by the sheer beauty of the sight. Dazed by the handsome profile of his olive-toned features, at once both so familiar and so utterly mystifying she inwardly gasped.
She swallowed the protrusion of anxiety in her throat, and blew out a short breath, turning her attention back to the immeasurable expanse of rough, darkened water and pale, breaking waves. In the distance, a seagull cried, its mournful call so reminiscent of the longing she felt inside.
Despite the knowledge that it was wrong, that she didn’t truly deserve a second chance at real love, she couldn’t deny her feelings for the man beside her. She wanted him. Back in her life. With a ferocity that simultaneously petrified and exhilarated her.
“Hey,” Luis said, reaching out a hand to gently clutch her elbow. “Are you all right? You look sad all of the sudden? You having second thoughts about asking me to come with you tonight?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just— Things have been so complicated between us these last few years,” she admitted, twisting to face him. “Somehow the dreams we had to share our lives got lost along the way and…I miss them. I don’t think I realized how much until tonight.”
He smiled down into her eyes, lifting one large palm to cup her cheek. “I know what you mean,” he said, his amber gaze searching her face. “I miss the way things used to be between us, too. Very, very much.”
He meant it. She could see the truth within his eyes. “Luis, I—”
“Shh,” he said, covering her lips with two fingers. “Don’t say anything. Just…let me look at you.” He trailed his finger across her lips, his eyes dropping to follow its path. “I almost forgot how soft these were. How full and sensual and…tempting.”
She swallowed, hard, and her tongue shot out to moisten her dry lips, catching the tip of his finger, the unexpected contact causing them both to gasp aloud. He looked up at her then, his eyes glistening with unspoken questions, and she watched, mesmerized by the intensity of his gaze, as his hand fell to her hips and his head slowly descended toward hers.
Her breath caught in her throat. Her knees nearly buckled from the anticipation of his kiss. From the utter joy of—
His lips brushed hers. Light, hesitant…and oh so tender.
She gasped again, startled by the overwhelming power of emotions that shot into her veins. By the sheer electricity of his touch as it crackled to life beneath her skin. As if needing to remind her how strong of a connection they held between them.
But she knew. She had always known. Men who kissed like him were hard to forget. She should know.
Luis angled his head and increased the pressure of the kiss, his callused fingers sliding beneath the thin material of her shirt to dig into the bare flesh at her waist, until she had no choice but to step further into his embrace. His other hand lifted to the back of her hair, tangling in the strands, gripping them as if he were afraid she might pull away.
But she wouldn’t. Couldn’t. She wanted this kiss as much as she needed the air to breathe. And she desired it even more.
Her hand fisted into the material of his black button-up, her trembling fingers itching to undo them one by one, until she could explore the smooth, powerful muscles shielded beneath. Yet, instead of undressing him, she forced her grip to relax, and lifted her hand to the back of his neck, groaning into his mouth as the heat from his skin seeped into the pad of her fingers.
His waiting tongue swept across the opening of her mouth, its rich velvet texture catapulting her senses into an overload of sweet, mesmerizing sensation. She repaid his ministrations with a tentative swipe of her own tongue, and then…she was lost, both dazzled and dazed by the power of her desire as their kiss propelled her to another place.
Enchanted Dreams
As the world around her melted away, a dizzying current of pleasure raced through her blood, igniting the first real spark of a long, enchanted dream. Where nothing mattered but this—the feel of his lips, the touch of his hand…the strength of his embrace as he softly, tenderly whispered words she never expected to hear again.
But it can’t last, a tiny voice warned. Nothing this good ever lasts.
Panting, completely devoid of breath, Sheridan pulled back, her eyes widening as they connected with the shocked, amber gaze of the man that stood before her. A man so much a part of her soul it terrified her.
Her lower lip quivered, and she lifted a hand to still it, the action unintentionally drawing his tormented gaze back to her mouth. She watched as he struggled to regain his composure, taking in huge gulps of air even as his eyes begged for another taste, another kiss.
Oh God. What had they done? “Luis, I—”
“Don’t,” he ordered hoarsely. “Just…don’t.” He shook his head. “We both…wanted it to happen. We still want it to happen.”
The fact that he was right did not ease her discomfort in the least. She drew another breath, and turned away from him to walk toward the wooden railing in the distance. Lifting her hand, she curled her fingers around the hard, weathered beam.
Beneath her palm she could feel the indention of two sets of initials. His and hers.
A reminder, he’d once told her. For whenever times got tough. So she would never again doubt how much he loved her. How much he wanted to be with her. And for years, she had clung to the promise in those words, as if they were the only lifeboat in a chaotic sea.
But they hadn’t saved her from the pain and heartache their relationship wrought. Nor had they saved her from the many mistakes they made between them. Yet, somehow, she still clung to the hope—the need to believe that it was true.
“I’m sorry,” he announced from behind her. “I never meant to…hurt you. I just… I needed to know it was still there. That connection between us. I needed to know I hadn’t killed it fully.”
She twisted her head to look at him. “Why? What does it matter now? I’m married. You’re in love with Fancy. Whatever we had, or could have…,” she paused, turning back to the ocean, “…is gone.”
“Is it?” he questioned, coming up behind her, his arms trapping her against the railing. His lips hovered near her ear as he challenged, “Tell me you didn’t feel something when I kissed you just now. Tell me you didn’t imagine my hands on you. That you didn’t imagine the two of us…being together.”
His rich, velvet tone sent a million tiny shockwaves through her nervous system. Even if she wanted to deny his claim, she couldn’t have. The effect of his voice, so deep and sure, would have given away whatever facade she tried to hide. “It still doesn’t change the facts, Luis. I’m married, and despite what we’ve done in the past…I won’t break those vows again.”
“Because you love him?” he asked, his tone both amused and irritated. “Or because you’re too scared to face what you feel inside?”
Scared? She wasn’t scared. She was…absolutely petrified.
Flushed
A tingling of excitement raced up her arm as he gently swung her around to face him. His dark eyes moved across her face—searching for an answer, she assumed. She twisted her head to stare at the empty boardwalk in the distance. “I should go,” she whispered after a moment. “It’s getting late and…”
“Your husband awaits,” he finished for her, his voice as emotionless as his words. He reached up, clutching her chin with his thumb and forefinger, and she had no choice but to look at him again. “Will you kiss him the way you kissed me tonight? Will he make you feel what…I make you feel?”
Her body trembled at his words. She shut her eyelids. “Why are you doing this, Luis? Why… now?” His palm flattened against her cheek, this thumb caressing her cheekbone. She opened her eyes. “I thought we… settled this between us. I thought… we both moved on.”
“So did I.” He lifted another hand to her face, framing it inside his large palms. “But then I saw you tonight. Really saw you. You aren’t happy with him, Sheridan. I can see it in your eyes.” He stopped, dropping his hands to the wood beams behind her, trapping her body with his words as well his movements, and shifted closer as he announced, “You still love me.”
Her skin flushed scarlet beneath his hypnotic gaze. “No, I…don’t.”
“Yes…” he paused, giving her a knowing smile, “…you do.”
The mystery in his eyes beckoned her. Called her. Dared her to resist his charm…his words. And she wanted to. God how she wanted to. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t because deep down she knew that he was right…
She did love him. More than she loved the air to breathe.
“Admit it,” he ordered softly, pulling her body tight against him. “Tell me how you feel. Tell me what you want. What you really want.”
You, her mind answered, I want you. But to him, she said, “I want to go home.”
It took more strength than she expected to break out of his hold, and when she did, she wanted nothing more than to have him pull her back in again. “I have a husband, Luis. A husband that…,” she refused to look at him as she forced the rest of the words past her lips, “…isn’t you.”
“A husband you stay with for a little boy you love.” He gripped her arm, and twisted her around to face him. “That isn’t a life, Sheridan. Hell, it’s barely even breathing. You don’t love him. You sure as hell don’t belong with him. You never did.
“You belong with me.”
“So says the man who is sleeping with my niece.” She shook her head, pulling her arm free of his hold. “You want to talk about where I belong? What about you, Luis? If you love me so much, how could you go after Fancy? How could you do that to me?”
He lowered his eyes, and thrust his hands into the pocket of his jeans. “How could I not?” he asked after a long moment of silence. “She reminds me so much of you. How you used to look at me. With that big, beautiful sparkle in your eyes that…you only got whenever you’d see me.
“She had that,” he admitted in a whisper, lifting his eyes back to her face. “And I needed that. In some twisted way, I think it gave me hope. Allowed me to believe that someday I’d see that same look in your eyes again.”
He stepped toward her. “And I did see it, Sheridan. I saw it tonight.” He reached up and ran his knuckles across her cheek. “I’m not proud of what I did with Fancy. I know it was wrong. Some days I could barely look at myself in the mirror because of it. But…being with her, laughing with her, it… made my loneliness a little easier to sleep with at night.”
“Oh, Luis.” She lifted her hand to the one on her cheek. “I am so sorry I… didn’t know. I didn’t realize—.”
“You know now,” he interrupted, capturing her hand, lowering their arms until he could pull her back against his chest. “Tell Chris you’re leaving him, Sheridan. Tell him you want to be with me. That you… still love me.”
Her lower lip quivered as she hoarsely whispered, “I…can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both,” she confessed softly. “We’ve tried so many times before, Luis. It never works. And I refuse to tear my son’s world apart over something that won’t even last.”
“But you’re willing to break both our hearts for a man you don’t love? A man that will never make you as happy as I can?” He released her and stepped back. “Maybe you’re right then. Maybe we don’t belong together. Because the woman I see right now…I don’t even recognize her.”
Some days she didn’t, either. She closed her eyes. “I…have to go, Luis. I…” she opened her eyes to look at him, “…need to get home.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, turning his back on her. “I guess you do.”
Gone
In his peripheral vision, Luis saw her lift her hand, its trembling movements hovering just above his left shoulder blade. For a moment, he expected her to make the contact. To offer him the solace he knew he could no longer feel.
But she didn’t. Hell, maybe she couldn’t.
He frowned when she dropped her hand, and listened as she silently removed his coat from her shoulders and placed it on the wooden banister beside him. The click of her heels echoed in his head as she quickly backed away out of his reach, and the only thing he wanted in those few seconds was to somehow find the words to make her stay. To make her…believe in them again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered softly, her voice filled with the tears he couldn’t shed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Luis. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do again. We just…aren’t the same people anymore. We want different things now. Different…lives.”
No, they didn’t. They wanted the exact same thing. She just refused to let herself trust it. Trust him.
He shut his eyes. Fought to retain control. Ignore the mounting anger that seeped into his bloodstream, desperately trying to escape his thoughts—his voice. When he finally found the courage to lift his eyelids and speak, Sheridan was…
Gone.
End of Part One