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mtj
2.21.17, 12:40 PM
I know, I know, manners of any kind are pretty much dead these days. However, do you find it appropriate for someone other than family to post about someone's passing on Facebook? Mind you, this was not sharing via personal message, this was an overt post for any "friend" to see. I have been long time internet friends with an elderly lady who passed recently. Her daughter contacted some of her internet friends via email and was very distressed that her mother's death had been announced on Facebook by someone the daughter didn't even know. Does this happen a lot? Do you think it is appropriate? I really don't understand why anyone who was not family would take it upon themselves to share such personal family news on Facebook without asking the family first.

Agent99
2.21.17, 1:29 PM
I don't think that's right at all. This person should have sent it as a private message. Some things are personal and private and sensitive. I would put a death notice in all of those categories. And you're right, manners don't exist anymore.

KrisMich
2.21.17, 2:19 PM
When my friend, Cynthia passed, I didn't say a word publicly on Facebook until her daughter told me it was okay to post and she wanted me to help contact others. Also, when my mom died, my cousin posted it immediately before I had the chance to even call close family members to let them know. I was so angry at her as that was not her place.

mtj
2.21.17, 4:41 PM
Kris, I am so sorry this happened to you too.
What is wrong with people?
How can they think that news this personal is theirs to blurt out somewhere like Facebook?

KrisMich
2.21.17, 5:27 PM
You are going to cringe at this one. There is a man my age who passed away this morning from a long battle with cancer. He was very well-known and loved in town. But, a person who has been updating everyone on Facebook really overstepped laws on privacy in my opinion. Arnel was put into hospice care over the weekend and last night, as he was dying, she video taped it and posted it. She was asking him questions and so she posted his answers. He was struggling to talk and to me, that was so outrageous. If I see her, I'm going to say something about that. People simply have no boundaries with their stupid cell phones available to snap a picture or shoot a video at any given moment. I am just livid over this.

Mike
2.21.17, 6:41 PM
I agree, unless somehow he asked for her to do it.

Still...

mtj
2.21.17, 7:40 PM
Oh good Lord.
Who would ask someone to film them dying and post it on Facebook?
Really.

Kris, you are right.
People seem to have no boundaries.
That is a horrible story and the woman who did that should have her ass kicked, several times.

boosdaughter
2.21.17, 8:49 PM
It's a definite no-no, particularly if you're not family. My feeling is that you always wait for the closest relatives to take the lead and set the tone on how it's going to be handled. If they don't post it on social media, it's probably wise not to do so yourself...the family's probably trying to notify more people in person first.

And Kris, WOW. That violation of boundaries is so, so crazy to me. I do think that the immediacy of camera phones has made it possible for people to record and upload all before they've even asked themselves, "Is this right? Moral? Sensitive?" I guess with stories like that, I should be grateful that people are just jumping to post about a person's death rather than recording it!

Agent99
2.22.17, 4:41 PM
Insane!!! There is nothing more private than the last minutes of a person's life. If you've ever been someone at that time, it is a privilege to be there and a personal moment. I would be interested to know if that man did ask to be on FB, but I'm guessing no.

Sandy1
2.24.17, 10:21 PM
When my father passed I was very careful when I posted anything on social media. It wasn't for me it was concern for my nieces. I wanted to make sure they were ok before I said anything. It was a difficult time and from the accident to the death was only a week so I think they were still getting used to what was happening. Only the close family knew of the situation. People need to be aware of the effects that the postings have.