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View Full Version : I'm Boo's daughter. I have difficult news to share with you.



boosdaughter
12.15.16, 6:24 PM
I'm Boo's daughter, Jenny.

I don't know how much my mom has shared with you over the years of her ongoing health problems, but she suffered a serious stroke yesterday afternoon. There is extensive bleeding in her brain, and her prognosis is poor. She has been unresponsive since arriving at the hospital yesterday afternoon. She is stable at the moment but brain activity has not improved as her doctors had hoped. I will give more updates as I receive them.

I wanted to tell you because she has told me stories about many of you over the years. She thought highly of you. You gave her laughs and you gave her moments of pause and reflection.

She worked hard as a parent and had outside help watching her children on only two occasions that I can recall. She and my dad often struggled to provide for their children, but their efforts meant that we never went without. She gave and gave beyond her limits, and I wish she had accepted our help.

I wish I were coming to your community under better circumstances. Thank you for your many years of friendship with my mom.

Agent99
12.15.16, 6:42 PM
Don't give up, Jenny!! The Pier Prayer Posse is strong and your mom is one of us! We love her dearly and the world needs her. Please, please convey to her somehow that The Pier Prayer Posse has her back. She will understand and find comfort. Blessings to you and your family. Please watch over your dad.

mtj
12.15.16, 6:44 PM
Oh Boo's Daughter. Bless you and bless your dear sweet Mom.
I lit a candle for her, and all of you folks who love her.
My prayers for for a miraculous recovery.
Your Mom and your family will remain in my prayers and good thoughts.
Please feel the warm wishes of everyone who cares about your Mom wrapped around you as you struggle with this difficult situation.

KrisMich
12.15.16, 6:49 PM
We love our, Boo! Jenny, I am praying for your mom and you, your dad and Ryan as well. Though I have never met her in person, I feel like I've known her all of my life. She and I would talk late at night sometimes on Facebook. I can't think of a nicer person. As Agent said, we are a strong prayer posse and we are going to believe for a miraculous healing.

mtj
12.15.16, 7:05 PM
Boo's Daughter,

Please read this to you Mom when you think the time is right...

Hi Brenda,
I always think of you as Boo, but I wanted to use your given name because I don't mess around where prayers are concerned.
You have been such a wonderful, caring part of The Pier community for so many years.
Even though none of us have met each other in person, we all think of each other as an "internet family".
Because of our communication on that message board, I know you are a loving wife, a loving mother and a loving grandmother.
You give to these loved ones in so many wonderful ways, often neglecting what you might need yourself.

So Boo, there is a lot of love surrounding you right now.
Feel that love and the healing wishes being sent your way.
Know what we are all around you in spirit.

Much love,
mtj aka Molly

Agent99
12.15.16, 7:09 PM
Beautiful! I think if Brenda just hears that we're praying for her, she will find comfort.

Coffenut
12.15.16, 7:13 PM
Jenny,I am so sorry to hear this. We all love Brenda. She is such a sweet caring person and is so proud of her kids and grandkids. I am praying with all my heart that you will get a Christmas miracle. Yes let her know that the prayer posse is at it. She will know we got her back.

Beautifulstargazer
12.15.16, 8:45 PM
Your Mum always seemed to speak from her heart and from a place of love. She, as well as your family, are certainly in my prayers. Take care

boosdaughter
12.15.16, 9:30 PM
Thank you. My son's only 2 and my brother's son is only 3. We are so, so hoping for a miraculous recovery. We are preparing for multiple outcomes, and it is so incredibly hard.

My maternal grandma died 4 years before I was born, when my mom was 24. That loss haunted her all of her life. It bothered her that my grandma died when her (then existing) grandkids were so small. We are horrified that this may come to pass for another generation.

The doctors want to meet with my dad, my brother and me tomorrow at 2 EST. I'm very frightened of what this conversation is going to entail. We keep hoping that this will turn out to be a short-lived bad dream.

Jenigirl
12.15.16, 9:47 PM
Jenny, I have my family praying for your beautiful mother. We love Boo so much here on the Pier. I know things seem bad, but we're praying for that miracle and I do believe in miracles. Your mom knows how strong our Pier prayer possee can be, and we are all praying so much for her and your entire family right now. Please, take care of your dad during this time as well as yourself. I only wish I lived close enough to help. Thank you so much for reaching out to us here and on Facebook.

boosdaughter
12.17.16, 4:52 PM
My brother is not being as detailed on Facebook at the moment...hoping to gently introduce what is going to happen to our greater family and friends in the coming week or so. I felt that you all deserved to know what is really happening.

The stroke has done significant damage to the thalamus...which is responsible for things like consciousness, alertness, attention, voluntary motor control, sleep/wake cycle. We have been told that the most likely, best case scenario is life in a coma. Regaining consciousness would be a miracle. Doing anything beyond that -- being able to move her body, being aware -- would be another miracle. She has a gene that has made her much more prone to blood clots and stroke. Because she is already on blood thinners, it will be problematic whether she stays on them or goes off of them; there are no surgical options. Another stroke is likely.


We are hoping for a miraculous recovery...but we are being realistic. My dad is taking the time to absorb what has happened.

Please take the time tonight to think about your will and your living will. My mom had these conversations on and off with us over the years, but never wrote anything down. Thankfully, we do remember and agree on most of what she told us. Tell your family where you keep your important documents (I cannot thank my mom enough for documenting every username and password).

Mom's stroke was a spontaneous intracerebral hemorrhaging stroke. From time to onset to calling EMS was less than 5 minutes. I was not present, but she had rushed into the bathroom within a minute or two of feeling numbness in her leg and arm. Unfortunately, with this type of stroke, even the speediest 911 call may not make any difference.

I do feel guilty because I think I remember her mentioning having some numbness while we were running errands a few weeks ago. My mom had the horrible habit of brushing everything off and minimizing problems...or worse, not airing them. Be vocal. Advocate for yourself. Accept help from your family and friends when they offer it. So many Facebook conversations I had with my mom involved me pleading with her to let me take her to the doctor. I didn't mind sitting in those offices.

I'd do anything to be sitting in one of those offices right now, rather than with the neurologist giving us such terrible news.

I don't know if, had she sought help a few weeks ago, she could have been saved. But there's the distinct possibility she could have lived to see her grandchildren get older.

I will spend every day of the rest of my life missing my mom. She would look at photo albums with me when I was younger and talk about her mom and all the things she had missed. I empathized with her pain, but I didn't know her pain. Even now, just a few days in, I don't know the extent of that pain...but someday, I will.

Take care of yourselves. She loved all of you. We would talk about many of you, and I came to learn a great many things about you even though I'd never talked to you directly (and she would often share worries she had about you).

Mike
12.17.16, 4:57 PM
All our prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family. Boo is certainly a part of ours. Always!

Annie
12.17.16, 5:17 PM
Jenny, I am so sorry to read the news of your mom. She is in my thoughts and prayers, as is your whole family.

Please find a way to shake the guilt you're feeling, I know your mom would not want you to carry that burden.

Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know about her condition, she has been a well loved member of our community for years and is missed already.

Agent99
12.17.16, 10:05 PM
Thank you, Jenny, for telling us the details. I have been praying for your mom throughout the day. We were always telling her to take care of herself, but she put everyone ahead of her. Please don't feel guilty. You don't have super powers. I will continue to pray for peace for your mom and strength for your family. We have always had so much fun teasing her!! I have been rereading posts from here and FB where we found such humor in the simple things. Stay strong. xoxo

KrisMich
12.17.16, 11:45 PM
Thanks for the details, Jenny. I agree with the rest of them in saying please don't feel guilty about anything. We can bombard our minds with all the "what-ifs" and that doesn't solve a thing. She loves you all so much. You and Ryan are her pride and joy and your boys are a dream come true for her. She is a lovely person with the biggest heart. My prayers continue for all of you as you walk this walk. Take care of yourself and make sure your dad does too. I worry about him so much. Whether you know it or not, you all are part of our Pier family and we care about each of you. Please feel free to post anytime, even if you just need to vent or cry. We're all here for you.

Coffenut
12.18.16, 9:45 PM
Jenny thanks for the detailed update. Your mom would not want you to feel guilty about this. The what if's won't help you feel better. She loves her family so much and would never blame any of you for this. Try to take care of yourself and keep an eye on your dad. As Kristi said we are here for you now too. I am sending you all big hugs.