View Full Version : Thank You For Thank You

8.10.16, 1:08 PM
In a recent "Ask Carolyn" column, a woman wrote to say that she had made several tote bags full of small gifts and school supplies for teachers who had been helpful to her daughter (who suffers from anxiety issues). Apparently these teachers had gone out of their way to help the girl during the school year and the tote bags were a gesture of appreciation. However, the woman was disappointed that she did not hear from any of the teachers after giving the gifts.
So this begs the question, is it appropriate and/or necessary to say thank you for thank you gestures?

My son works at an after-school and summer camp day care program.
Several of the parents have given him thank you gifts (usually gift cards, sometimes cash) at the end of the school year or summer session.
Whenever possible, we do give them a thank you note. (It is not possible when he gets such things on a child's last day and will not see the family again).
It makes both my son and I very happy when he is appreciated like that.
So it seems natural to say thank you.
Although I get that "thank you for thank you" may be redundant.

8.10.16, 4:29 PM
My first instinct is that the Thank You has to stop somewhere or it will be endlessly repeated. A thank you for a thank you is not necessary if it is given in person. I am assuming that the person receiving the thank you gift has already said, "Than you." End of thank you's. Now - if the thank you gift was delivered by a third party - then a small note or email or telephone call would be appreciated to let the thank you person know that their thank you gift was received and appreciated with a hearty - Thank you!

Thank you (no need to respond in kind).

8.10.16, 6:09 PM
I was raised to always say "thank you" when receiving a gift and would probably send a card to the person that gave me a "thank you" gift. But, it should end there.

Since we're on the subject, have any of you experienced the lack of acknowledgement for regular gifts lately? My cousin's daughter had a huge baby shower in February, still, no thank you card from her for the gift. I have also been to a couple of weddings where I didn't receive a thank you card for their gifts. That just goes against the grain with me. Like I said earlier, I was taught to be thankful and to always send an acknowledgement. Where have manners gone?

8.10.16, 9:43 PM
There is no excuse for not getting a thank you card for gifts - especially shower/wedding gifts which tend to be costly. Inexcusable!! And don't fall for that crap about brides having a year grace period to send out thank you's. That's BS. I like to embarrass the person by calling and asking if they ever received my gift since I never got a thank you note, I had no way of knowing.

8.12.16, 10:09 AM
I find it funny my cousins all can text or send e-mail to ask for my address to invite me to a wedding, shower, or graduation party. But can't take a second to at least let me know my gift got to them. One cousin's daughter graduated from high school I sent a check, no thank you. Six months later she got married, I sent a check, no thank you. One month later I got invited to her baby shower, I sent an expensive baby swing, no thank you. I sent her a text and ask if she got the baby swing, no response. I didn't bother sending gifts for baby #2 or baby #3. My daughter made sure her thank-you cards were mailed out before she left on her honeymoon. Her thank-you cards were mailed out with in a week after her baby shower.

8.12.16, 11:04 AM
That's because, unlike your other relatives, your daughter was brought up the right way - by YOU!! No more gifts to the ungrateful.