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jolau
6.9.16, 1:51 PM
Seems to me there are parallels between bullying and rape culture. Oftentimes we are told to "ignore it and it will go away" or it is treated as some sort of joke.


The result is, we have no way of determining what is a joke and what needs to be taken seriously.
Take for example sagging pants. We take this seriously because this "fashion trend" is associated with immoral or criminal behavior. Does Brock Turner even look like someone who would wear sagging pants? NO. And yet Mr. Turner committed a criminal act. No one suspected a thing until he was caught in the act.
We worry about children getting raped by a transgendered in a bathroom, what about your daughter off to college raped by a jock behind a dumpster?
Let's look at Dylann Roof too. He put up manifestos and photos (including him burning a flag) on social media. How come no one confronted him about this? Wouldn't confronting him about this have saved the lives of those he shot? Instead it was ignored and people died because of him.


And this is my condemnation of both the abstinence-only and the anti-abortion movements. Especially religious groups. I DO NOT understand why the pro-life and abstinence-only groups are silent about this (If there is anyone out there that is, please tell me because I have not heard anything of the like) It is conservatives that are silent about people like Brock Turner, and politicians like Rick Santorum, and Todd Akin who appease rapists that turn me off from the Abstinence-Only and Pro-Life movements. These are people that condemn the loose morals of our society, but when a rape happens (and especially when a pregnancy results from it), oh well?
Boys will be boys? I don't believe that for a second.

http://www.scarymommy.com/rape-culture-middle-school/?utm_content=buffer1d001&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer (http://www.scarymommy.com/rape-culture-middle-school/?utm_content=buffer1d001&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer)

Catstrack
6.11.16, 1:25 AM
Too many times the victim is blamed in rape, abuse, etc., cases. For dressing "too sexual", for allegedly provoking the abuser, etc. Many times there are signs that something is not right as in the case with Roof, but we have to wonder if those close to him knew he felt the way he did...actually agreed with his views even if they didn't go as far as the killing part.

The culture of bullying is not a new one, but what is different today is the new ways of being able to use social media to harass, intimidate and bully others in a cyber-acceptable format. It's a new age blood sport for some and today we see someone who wants to be leader of the free world engage in name calling and bully tactics....crowing that being "politically incorrect" is a virtue? NO! Saying that means one gives themselves a pass to be rude, intolerant and mean! To my great horror is the numbers who have come out to vote and support this person.

Often some ignore doing the right things for some personal advantage just not to get involved, but it's not a new thing. Back many years ago is a case that always has stuck with me. Kitty Genovese was a young woman attacked in a neighborhood in NYC, 30-40 years ago if I remember correctly. It's a text book case. She was stabbed multiple times and as she was mortally wounded she screamed for help. 50 some people heard her pleas, but every single one closed their curtains and backs on her. Not one person called the police or went to help. She died in the street alone.

Courage seems to be lacking even today for some. To stand up to bullies, to speak out for those being bullied or abused.

jolau
6.11.16, 5:37 AM
I keep wondering if things like rape is why women are so sheltered in heavily Islamic cultures, and is America going down a similar path? You see this mentality of female rape victims not taking enough measures to "protect" themselves while very little is done about the male rapist, and they go around as if such behavior is "normal". What next? Burqas, honor killings, and treating women like property?
Does the preludes to rape from the male perspective even sound like the behavior of a moral Christian? (I for one am not going to assume Turner or his parents are "atheists", they are from Ohio so they should be Christian of some form or another.)

As for that person, I've said it before and I'll say it again.
We live in a culture that honors those who flaunt wealth, power, violence, athleticism, and(hetero)sexuality. It does not hold intellectuals or peace makers/keepers with similar regards, or holds things like celebacy in high regard despite claiming itself to be a "moral" society.
An abstinent male is considered an anomaly in our culture. I have had my morals and decision not to have sex questioned all my life, I've been accused of being gay, and it's been to the point where I'm told to give up this "Disney" mentality and start watching porn. (And guess where this guy came from? OHIO!)

jolau
6.13.16, 2:51 PM
Another problem when it comes to masculinity- mass shootings.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2016/06/13/3787606/toxic-masculinity-mass-shooting/

Catstrack
6.14.16, 2:17 AM
Excellent points and I guess all I can add on the first points is a question of where has there ever been a solo female in the US involved directly in a mass shooting? None that I know of.

As to the last line's point....there is no shame in living what anyone considers a moral life for themselves. Strength of character is being able to understand a course of personal determination of what one's journey in life feels right for them. Life pivots and changes over time, but core principles can shape us for a lifetime as to what changes we will choose to accept and what we don't. We get one life and it's ours to choose our own path...at least for those who live in free world states.

Totally, I also agree that todays culture honors too many things, people, who don't always deserve it. While many others who are in the trenches doing fantastic work to enhance life and make a better world...toil away. Getting up everyday and going to work and not assuming or care they will be on the evening news.

jolau
6.14.16, 6:14 AM
I had a rather long-winded conversation with a libertarian about transgenderism and individual rights. And like most conservative/libertarians, he says your physical biology should dictate which restroom you use, not how you "feel".
In order to "appear" tolerant, he said someone like Caitlin Jenner would be welcome in his restroom. He referred to Caitlin as a "he" and even sounded clueless when I asked him why the Republicans haven't banned gender-reassignment surgery or cross-dressing (just as they are trying to re-ban abortion. I think for some reason he thought I was suggesting they ban the surgery/cross-dressing.). He even went the "protect his family" route.
I called him out on his bullshit, and said that Caitlin Jenner is not a threat to his family. A Cathlolic Priest might be a threat to family. A drunk athlete might be a threat to his family. But a Transgender is not.
I think I shut him up (at least for now).

Catstrack
6.17.16, 2:21 AM
Good for you! Really, we've probably all shared a public bathroom with a transgendered person and NEVER knew it. Some have used this issue to try and make a link to pedophiles or "mashers" (using this to get entry into bathroom areas. It's ridiculous. There's no data that says transgendered, or gay people for that matter, are preying upon other sexes or children by using a public bathroom.

So, what's the opposition plan? To post a guard at all public bathrooms asking for birth certificates? OR...."show me your papers"! Makes no sense.

jolau
6.17.16, 5:38 AM
I think one problem is, they do not understand the subtle differences between the various degrees of transgenderism. What he is expecting is a cross-dresser. Someone who is cross-dressing basically as a disguise in order to go to places where they wouldn't be allowed under normal circumstances, or as some sort of act (Things we've seen in sitcoms ranging from I Love Lucy to Roseanne, or a number of Bugs Bunny cartoons).
But we're talking about people who have actually gone through the surgery, the surgery is near-perfect, and now they appear as if they are members of the opposite gender.

The other problem is, conservatives view this as men accepting feminine traits, and/or giving up their reproductive abilities. I've heard Dr. Laura complain about this a few years ago, in which she says this is all about the "feminization" of boys. Everything from ADHD diagnoses, to the accepting of gays and trans, to the secularization of public schools. It all contributes to a rigid definition of what it means to be a man, as well as what it means to be a woman. And if you don't meet that definition, then something is "wrong" with you.

jolau
6.17.16, 4:12 PM
http://thinkprogress.org/education/2016/06/17/3789310/lgbt-marginalization-schools/

Mike
6.21.16, 12:26 PM
I had a rather long-winded conversation with a libertarian about transgenderism and individual rights. And like most conservative/libertarians, he says your physical biology should dictate which restroom you use, not how you "feel".


Then that ain't no libertarian. He's just another selfish and unaware person.

jolau
6.21.16, 1:33 PM
I'll never understand Libertarianism, or how you can be Christian and be a Libertarian. Especially if this is someone who still subscribes to the traditional gender assignments imposed on us by religion.

Catstrack
6.22.16, 1:29 AM
I think one problem is, they do not understand the subtle differences between the various degrees of transgenderism. What he is expecting is a cross-dresser. Someone who is cross-dressing basically as a disguise in order to go to places where they wouldn't be allowed under normal circumstances, or as some sort of act (Things we've seen in sitcoms ranging from I Love Lucy to Roseanne, or a number of Bugs Bunny cartoons).
But we're talking about people who have actually gone through the surgery, the surgery is near-perfect, and now they appear as if they are members of the opposite gender.

The other problem is, conservatives view this as men accepting feminine traits, and/or giving up their reproductive abilities. I've heard Dr. Laura complain about this a few years ago, in which she says this is all about the "feminization" of boys. Everything from ADHD diagnoses, to the accepting of gays and trans, to the secularization of public schools. It all contributes to a rigid definition of what it means to be a man, as well as what it means to be a woman. And if you don't meet that definition, then something is "wrong" with you.

Also, some of the issues for others is that transgender people seems to some others as a foreign concept in the sense that they don't either understand it and, as you say they think something is wrong with the person. Although some will never accept the concept I do think that it's another one of the parts of society that will be less demonized over time just like interracial marriage, gay lifestyles, etc. issues have changed over the years.