Originally uploaded by RGP

Some tips for boys...specifically boys who have been in a relationship for quite sometime.

1. Get excited for crying out loud! If we tell you something we are clearly excited about, please know that "Oh, cool." simply does not cut it. Period.

2. Just because I don't particularly enjoy chatting on the phone is by no means an excuse for you not to call and say goodnight. Expect to be on the crappy end of the silent treatment for awhile. P.S. texts stating that you are going to bed soon do not count.

3. If we're feeling down, there is really only one appropriate response. "Oh darling, I'm so sorry. That truly sucks and you are so right." Do not stray from this response and by no means try to "fix" the situation. You will only make it worse. I promise. It's for your own good.

4. No, I do not want you to bring home that stray dog. And please, stop asking and pretending you're joking. I know you want to bring it home and my answer still hasn't changed.

5. No, you are not stealthy, you are a guy. I'm sorry but it's not in your genes. Yes, we can tell when you've been drinking a little too much, even over the phone.

With all that said, we love you (God knows why) and we just don't want to see you get hurt. That's why we tell you these things in advance. It's up to you now.